In it for the long haul

I wish I had more of an update for you all. I wish I were sitting her excitedly typing the words that we got "the call"...but unfortunately, I'm not. We've officially been approved and waiting for a referral now for exactly 6 months. I have to say, the time has actually flown by! I've personally been doing really great with the wait... until recently. The wait has just started to get difficult these last couple of weeks. And honestly, I feel really silly because we've only been waiting for 6 months. Adoption takes time, a lot of time, usually. Don't ask me exactly why. You'd think there were tons of babies out there...but the truth of the matter is that there really aren't. With abortion SO prevalent and easily accessible and even condoned and encouraged these days, families wishing to be parents have a long waiting line when it comes to parenthood. I read an article once that said that there are about 36 couples for every one baby available for adoption. So we're planning to just hunker down for a long wait ahead.

 But I'm excited because the summer is here and I finally get to put together the nursery. Yes, I'm starting on the nursery even before we get a referral. This is just a really great time for me to dedicate time to it since I won't be working this summer. I can take it slow and really enjoy the process of preparing for our little one. I'll be spending the first few weeks of summer painting the room that will one day hold a precious little soul that we'll call our child. I absolutely LOVE painting. I've spent many of hours painting different rooms in our house. It's a really great time to pray, actually. It soothes my ADD mind by doing something physical while my heart and mind pray. You better believe I'll be praying it up for our little child. My heart can't help but jump at the thought that our little son or daughter could actually be alive in his/her mother's womb right now!

While recently I've been struggling with the wait. I have to remember that it's not about me at all. This whole adoption isn't about Matt and I getting a kid. God has a really huge plan for everyone involved in this. He has a plan for their/our salvation and He's using this adoption in that plan. When I'm impatient about waiting...I have to remember that there is a woman out there  at this very moment making a very, very brave but hard decision. As I am eagerly preparing to say hello...there is a woman out there preparing her heart to say goodbye. I can only imagine how heavy that must feel to her. I remember clearly the heartache of saying goodbye to Josiah just two and a half years ago after only spending one week with him. I can only imagine carrying a child in your womb for nine months and then having to do the same. That's a bravery and a beauty that most of the world never gets to witness or experience. Adoption is a decision that so closely resembles God's love for us. This woman who is choosing life and adoption for her child, is acting like our heavenly Father even if she doesn't realize it. It's so beautiful. And we'll be so forever grateful to her for her act of pure love shown to her child... and to us.

"A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of that privilege are not lost on me. " Jody Landers