Gratitude

I'd love to be able to say that Thanksgiving has always been a day of true thankfulness for me. The truth is, between stuffing my belly with turkey and pie and all things amazing, in dealing with infertility in the recent years, I found it truly difficult to be thankful most days let alone on Thanksgiving. When looking up thankful in the dictionary, I found it to mean "pleased and relieved".  How could I, in the midst of one of the hardest crosses I've had to carry, be anything close to pleased and relieved??? But you see, I've had it all wrong.

Our recent adoption and becoming a mommy over the last three months have taught me something so incredibly profound. Something I wish I always had and something I wish I had in every part of my life. Gratitude. You see, I thought I knew what this thing called gratitude was and even thought I had it at certain times of my life...but nope. I didn't have a clue. 

Our son and the Lord, coupled with the heavy cross I carried for years have taught me gratitude.  There isn't a single moment that I don't look at my son with a heart full of gratefulness. When he wakes me up for middle of the night feedings, my stomach flutters with excitement to see him and spend those sweet moments with him while the rest of the world sleeps. When I'm worn down and sick because of lack of sleep, I can somehow continue on with my mommy duties with overwhelming joy. You see, I've learned through this adoption and becoming a mom, that having a heart of gratitude helps you live life with true joy. The circumstances around you literally don't matter when you have true gratitude.  

The definition of gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I've experienced this in such a real way. My eagerness to show appreciation and kindness for my son stirs within me the ability to be a joyful mother. You see, gratitude changes the way you live. It changes the way you move forward. But don't let me fool you, I didn't come by this on my own. I believe our Lord brought me through years of carrying a heavy and hard cross to be able to experience this joy....that stems from pure gratitude. And I am forever grateful because I believe it is making me the mother God wants me to be more and more every day. 

Knowing that my son is truly a gift from God helps rid me of any feelings of "it is my right to have this child" or that even "this child is mine" which can lead to taking him for granted. He's the Lord's. He always was and always will be. He is an absolute gift. I know from past experience that anything can be taken away in an instant so every.single.moment with him fills my heart with more gratitude. Experiencing true gratitude for the first time in my life has caused me to pause and wonder, what if we live our entire lives in this way? What if we look at each and every thing and person with such gratitude?

 I believe more joy will fill this earth.

Praying for you. Praying for those carrying painful crosses this Thanksgiving that soon enough, the Lord will reveal to you this gratitude and your hearts would experience divine joy and peace that surpasses all understanding in this life. 

Photos by: http://www.kbsimplephoto.com/