I'm Adopted

...because the truth of the matter is that we are all adopted. We are adopted sons and daughters of God. As I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament with my adopted son this afternoon for the first time, I felt this in a deeper way than ever before. It was incredibly overwhelming to see the light of Christ from the monstrance shine on my son's face in the chapel. It's difficult to explain, really...the magnitude of adoption especially in the spiritual realm.

But what I do know is that God has chosen you. He has chosen YOU as his adopted son or daughter. He doesn't just want to be your "friend" as many contemporary christian lyrics echo lightly. He wants to go deeper. He wants to be your daddy. He wants to be up with you in the night when you're fearful and worried. He wants to hold you when you need comforting and healing. He wants to provide for you, feed you, cloth you. He wants to love you, sacrificially, as a father does...but He can do it perfectly. He has chosen you despite who you are, what you've done, or where you will go in the future. He has chosen YOU because of who He is.

When you go through the process of adoption, you learn so much spiritually. You learn how to love like God does. But mostly importantly, you learn how much God loves you. Since our son has come into the world, our lives have been completely rocked both in the physical and in the spiritual. Besides my time being completely consumed with our little Joshua, my mind and heart have also been completely consumed with thoughts of complete awe of the Lord.  I have so much to write about adoption, I don't know where to begin! Hence why I haven't written a post yet. I was going to give a detailed play by play of the day our son came in to the world (don't worry, I will soon!) because it was completely and awesomely covered by God's grace but after visiting the adoration chapel today, I just felt so strongly to tell you, the person reading these words, that God loves you. That He has chosen YOU to be His son or daughter. He has adopted you.

Bringing our son home.

Adoption, Redemption

It's an indescribable experience meeting the birth mother of your future son. One that's really difficult to put into words. Our visit with our birth mother and caseworkers went great last week. The five of us enjoyed a two hour lunch just chatting away about everything from surfing and sharks to family traditions and college football (of course!). After the lunch, we took some pictures and headed on our way. Our caseworker stayed back for a bit and talked with Matt and I and mentioned that we were allowed to invite our birth mother to hang out again since we were staying in town a couple of more days. We loved the idea of getting more time with her! So we asked her and she was so excited that we actually wanted that! So the next day, we met for lunch again. This lunch, we spent four hours talking...just the three of us. It was amazing and really completed the entire trip for us all. We had the opportunity to really talk. We talked about some fun, light hearted stuff but were also able to go deeper. To talk about our birth mother's conversion to the Lord, her hopes, her fears, her dreams. It was an incredible experience to know more about her heart and how God has moved in huge ways through this pregnancy and now through this adoption process. It was a lunch that the three of us will never, ever forget and a sweet moment that we can share with Joshua forever.

Meeting with her really had me thinking about the beauty of choosing life. In our world, young women are pressured to get an abortion, to just "take care of it" as an easy way out. It's amazing to get a front seat view of it all and be able to visibly see the positive and amazing effects of why choosing LIFE can only bring endless blessings and joy for SO many people. Not to mention, it brings conversion. Life conquers death...it conquers sin....it heals and redeems. I get SO excited knowing that the enemy was squashed. He had a plan and it backfired on him terribly because of a still small voice in a mother's heart that said, choose life. The enemy thought he got her when she chose to have premarital sex. He thought his work was done but she has been restored, redeemed and has come to know God in a huge way. She's changed and wanting to follow God passionately now. Wow.

You see, adoption brings life in a world that's saturated with death. You could even say that adoption is contagious. We truly believe that because our birth mother was adopted herself and because HER mother bravely chose life for her, she instinctively knew that life and adoption was the right thing to do. She knew that an abortion would just break her. I fiercely believe that if adoption is in your family... generations to come are more likely to choose life and choose adoption if they're in a difficult spot.

This amazing lady has been able to experience the freedom and forgiving power of our God through her pregnancy. She's been able to bless another couple (us!) with life when they're not able to have a family on their own. And we're able to build a relationship with her that's filled with conversations about life and faith and how good our God is even in the midst of trial. Matt and I are able to be a witness to her of a marriage built on God. She's able to witness to us the sacrificial love of a parent that is an absolute reflection of God's love for us. How can anything but beauty come from choosing life and choosing adoption?

God is good. He's breaking through our culture of death through adoption and we're incredibly humbled and blessed to be a part of that.

What's In a Name?

It was really important to us to choose a name for our son. This little life had been without a name for most of his in utero life and we just felt it necessary to give him a name, after all, he IS a person and he IS our son. Although not legally yet, he's our son through and through.

I mentioned in an earlier post that during the very first call from our caseworker giving us the news that we were matched, I asked a rather natural question, was the baby a boy or a girl. Upon hearing the caseworker say, "It's a boy!", something inside of me yelled out the name Joshua. It was seriously almost like I recognized him as my son and I called out his name in excitement. It was one of the strangest moments but one that I hope I never forget.

So...his first name is Joshua. Not only is it the name my heart cried out immediately but also happens to be in Matt and mine's top two or three name choices for boy names.

Joshua is a strong name. Joshua was a warrior in the Old Testament. From my understanding he was a man that showed huge courage in the face of great responsibility. He was like the right hand man to Moses through the 40 years that the Jewish people wandered the desert. Joshua successfully led the people of God out of the desert to conquer their enemies and enter the promised land. Some scholars say that Joshua was like a foreshadowing to Jesus. What Moses, who represented the law, was unable to accomplish, Joshua did, by leading the people into the promised land. This points to what Jesus did on the cross, defeating the enemy, satan, and leading people to eternity with God (the promised land!).

So, I pray my son will be a true warrior for the Lord. That through obedience, faith and dependence on God, he will bring others to Christ in his life.

Choosing Joshua's middle name was a bit more challenging. There are SO many great names! Matt wanted us to pray through a few for a little while to make sure we choose the right middle name for him. So we prayed.  And after a little while, Matt felt confident that his middle name was supposed to be Dominic. I would say that we both really like this name but Matt really sealed the deal on choosing this middle name for Joshua, which I like that he chose it for him. :)

Saint Dominic was a spanish priest and the founder of the Order of Preachers, the Dominican order. Saint Dominic was named after Saint Dominic of Silos, who is the patron saint of hopeful mothers. He was born into a wealthy family but also a holy one. His mother was beatified by Pope Leo XII in 1828. Pretty cool. He was a scholar of theology and the truth and teachings of the Church were things he spent his life defending, in an age where great heresy engulfed the world. But he was also a man of great charity and love. When a famine hit Spain in 1191, Dominic gave away his money and sold his clothes, furniture and precious manuscripts to feed the hungry.

Our prayer is that our son, Joshua Dominic, will be a warrior for the Lord and defend and spread Christ's truth through faith, obedience to God, and love, into a world saturated by relativism.

"Now then," said Joshua, "throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel." And the people said to Joshua, "We will serve the Lord our God and obey him."- Joshua 24:23-24 

OH and one really awesome God thing. After we had chosen the name Joshua Dominic for our son, our caseworker scheduled our trip to meet our birth mother for the first time. It's next week, on August 8th (prayers would be great please!) and I noticed yesterday that August 8th is the feast of Saint Dominic!! How awesome is that? The very first time we are near our son and hopefully feel him kick will be on his feast day! God is good and always showing us, He's looking out. :)

A Love Story

...Because that's what adoption is. A love story. Lately, I've had the incredible opportunity to begin dialogue with my future son's birth mother.  We've been emailing daily through an email account we have set up through our agency. This has been an amazing experience for us.  I know that this opportunity may look very different for different people who are matched up with different birth moms but our experience has been a truly unique blessing to us. Before we began this process, we would have never guessed that we would have developed such a relationship with the mother of our child. Of course, we had hope that we'd get the opportunity to meet her and to talk with her but we never expected something quite like this. Our daily emails to each other read like love letters to our son from two women that love him with an indescribable love. The emails are something Matt and I will absolutely share with our son when he is older.

You can only imagine what talking with your child's birth mother is like. It's a bit scary at times. I'm always afraid I am going to say something wrong or maybe show how excited I am and that will sadden her. But our child's birth mother and I have been able to talk through each other's feelings and fears and we share in each other's joy of this whole process. God has SO blessed us and protected us by matching us up with this amazing women who really knows what God wants for her son's life and she is confident in her choice to place her child for adoption. Corresponding with us and knowing how we feel and how we're preparing for the little man only reinforces her decision that we are the right adoptive parents for him.

Our number one prayer when we started this adoption process last October was that our child and his birth parents would come to know and love Jesus. That was our biggest prayer. The prayer that trumped any and all of our other prayers through the process. I believe that God has already begun to answer that prayer.  Our birth mother this week shared her testimony and revealed to us that through this pregnancy and through this adoption, she has become a believer when she wasn't before. She attends church and a weekly bible study. How amazing is that?! She is who we have been praying for all this time and God has answered that prayer.

Her faith and her love for her son only inspires me to be a mother that loves selflessly and that cherishes this precious gift forever. Getting to know her has changed me..for the better.

In two weeks we will travel to Texas to meet her and I really believe we will hug like old friends by then. I am so excited to talk with her face to face and to be SO close to the son God has chosen for us. Time is creeping too slowly for all of us. Pray for all of us as the time draws near where a mother's selfless love will change for good the lives of so, so many.

Adoption: "Not for the Wimps of Heart"

I was reminded the other night by my dear friend, Catherine, who has also adopted that a.) adoption is not for the wimps of heart and b.) hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).

In adoption, things can change in a New York minute. There is no guarantee until we're heading home on the plane with our baby in our arms. Hence, adoption is not for wimps. I'm giving you the play by play of adoption. The good with the bad, the awesome with the not-so-awesome moments. It's not just a sweet fairy tale that we can happily blog through. Sometimes these stories do not end in happily ever after...sometimes they do, it's just a bumpy ride getting there. Adoption is dealing with real people who are going through a very difficult things.

Daily in this process we are falling more and more in love with a child we haven't met yet. It's almost impossible not to! We have to let our hearts "go there" even if it means heartbreak. God, the Father, goes there with us daily. He gives us our all. He loves us deeply and unconditionally, even before we ourselves call him Father.

I may not be providing minute by minute blog posts about the next couple of months of the process. The next post I write may be a little synopsis of our visit with the birth mother.

In the meantime, we're continually in communication with the agency and the birth mother, getting our home ready for a little one and helplessly falling in love with someone we haven't met yet. Which is all very awesome but can be extremely stressful at the same time. Give us grace and prayer please!

PLEASE keep us in prayer through this. Keep the birth father, the birth mother and their families in prayer that they would continue to make the right decisions for the baby. Most importantly, pray that the birth parents and the baby would come to know Jesus, in a real way, through this adoption.

Pray that Matt and I would make wise decisions in the final stages of this process. That we'd have peace and most importantly, that we'd have faith in our mighty God that is totally at work in all of this. And lastly, for protection from the evil one, for all.

"Faith is no refuge for the fainthearted, 

but something which enhances our lives. 

It makes us aware of a magnificent calling, 

the vocation of love.” - Pope Francis (Lumen Fidei, 53)

Next Steps

Things have slowed down a little since we received the amazing news that we're matched with a birth mother! So I thought I'd give you all a little update on all that has happened since. My goal with this blog is to first, bring glory to God because he does amazing things when we trust in Him, second, share the domestic infant adoption journey with everyone, step by step, so people have a pretty good idea of the process from the adoptive parent end. I'd love for this blog to bring awareness so that families will begin to naturally discern adoption for their family. There are a lot of amazing children that need Christian homes and as I always say, when you step into the adoption journey, God rocks your socks off and blows you away with His faithfulness in a way you may never get to experience otherwise. I also hope that this particular post will help break the stereotype that is often placed on birthmothers and fathers.

I want to tell you a little about our birth mother, without going into too much detail to respect my child's birth mother and my child. Just a few days after the awesome call from our caseworker telling us we were matched, our caseworker called us to give us, in more detail, the "stats" of our birth mother and father. This is somewhat of a scary part for adoptive parents in the matching process. You really have NO idea WHO you will be matched up with...well to an extent. In the application process you have the opportunity to check the boxes of the types of things/situations you are okay being matched with. We were not too picky on our application meaning we were open to accepting a lot because, well let's face it, we're probably at this point in our lives, not going to field a baseball team with kids (not to put limits on God!) so we felt that as a family, we could maybe handle a little more if that's what the Lord willed for our family. We also felt strongly that all children deserve not only life, but a good life and good parents, no matter their disability or in utero circumstances that may affect them. This part of the process takes quite a bit of discernment, though, I warn you.

So when we got the stats, we learned that our birthmother was not the strung out on drugs stereotype that most would categorize birth mothers to be. She is an honors student in college and so is the birth father.  The birthfather even plays college football! You better believe Matt is super stoked about that part! :) A few days after getting all the information from our agency on our birth parents, down to their height and weight (I know, right!? Crazy), we actually had a phone conversation scheduled with our birthmother. So we set up a google voice number so that she didn't actually have our phone number, in oder to keep privacy. This is typical with our particular agency. The really try to allow birth parents and adoptive parents to build somewhat of a relationship over the course of the last trimester. It's healthy for birth moms and gives them strength and assurance in their decision by really getting the chance to get to  know the adoptive parents.

We were pretty terrified of the conversation leading up to it. We prayed, a LOT but we just didn't know how the conversation would go or if we'd get a scared and unsure teenager on the other end and how we'd be able to handle that. It turned out that we or I, really, was the scared voice on the other end of the phone. She is a strong, confident, smart, beautiful christian who led the entire conversation. She had questions and topics prepared to discuss. She encouraged us. She is amazing. The three of us talked for an hour and there was nothing but complete joy from both ends of the phone. It was the most blessed conversation we could have imagined. And the best part?? No awkward lulls in the conversation, thank you sweet baby Jesus.

One of the biggest and most amazing things we learned was that she is adopted, herself! She was adopted as an infant so she completely gets adoption. She understand the risk we're taking as adoptive parents and how we're really placing our hearts and lives in her hands over the next couple of months. She also has a clear picture of the type of adoption she wants and feels is best for all involved. She wants a semi open adoption, meaning we will exchange pictures and letters through the agency. Her family exchanged pictures and letters with her birthmother and she saw the confidence it gave her as she grew to know where/who she came from. But she also understands that communication other than that would not be a good idea. This is exactly what we wanted and hoped for! We want to be able to tell our child that he was placed for adoption because his birthmother loved him and knew he needed a father and a mother that could raise him and love him, well.

The other amazing thing we discovered talking with her is that she is a Christian. Before she could even choose a family (before her third trimester), she found our profile on the Gladney online profile site and she just "knew that we were the parents of her baby". So for three months her and her family prayed we'd still be available when the time came that she could choose. Three months, people. Three months she has been praying specifically for us. That blew my mind and still does.

She's a beautiful woman making an amazing choice for her child. She's putting her child above her own wants. Some people view adoption as the opposite which is not true. She first chose life when she had an unplanned pregnancy and then discerned and chose adoption, knowing her child could be given an amazing life with both a father and a mother in his life. She chose adoption because she was intimately familiar with it because her mother had chosen the same road. A culture of life has trickled down the generations in her family because adoption was the option when unplanned pregnancies happened. Adoption gives life to so many. We've witnessed that communities rise up to embrace adoptive parents and the children placed for adoption, both prayerfully and even financially. We've witnessed our birth mothers be encouraged and embraced by adoptive parents (us) through this process, hopefully giving them peace and inner healing through this difficult choice rather than shame they may feel. We'll see a child who will be blown away that his birth mother emulated Christ's love for him in choosing true life in a culture that's fighting against a child's right to life. Like Christ, choosing life for her child isn't by any means the easy road. In fact, it's the road less traveled these days. But her courage and love will spread like a wild fire for generations to come in our family and hers.

So the next steps for us? We're traveling to Texas to meet with our caseworkers and our birth mother on Aug 8th. We'll have a lunch and who knows what we'll talk about. But we feel SO much better about meeting her after talking with her on the phone and after exchanging a few emails back and forth. I'm also so excited to be that close in proximity to our baby! So cool!

Prayer requests? Pray for our birthmother, that she stays firm and continues to feel the peace of the Lord in her life and in her decision. Pray for our child, keep him safe and healthy and at peace in her womb as well. Pray for us as we wait these 50-some days. Yes, that is SO close BUT for an adoptive parent SO far. I had a freak out moment last night to Matt. It literally sometimes feels like I am blind folded and jumping off a bridge and the only thing I can do is trust in God. That freakin' scares me!! There is absolutely nothing in my control. And this isn't just any old thing we're dealing with here. We're talking about our child, our family. Something we've longed for for so many years. The unknown and anticipation really scares me. I just want it to get here so I KNOW that things have worked out well for us and that we're flying back to VA with our baby in hand. I'm clinging to Jesus most days around here. So prayers are SO greatly appreciated.

Feeling a lot like Peter lately, somedays I'm walking on water and other days I feel like I'm sinking:

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.  After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,  and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

-Matthew 14

Prayer Warriors, Near and Far

We have had SO many people tell us how much they are praying for us through this adoption process. It's amazing to see the body of Christ rise up. We're forever changed and our faith is forever strengthened through the experiences God has given us in this adoption journey. That is really a BIG reason we encourage everyone to prayerfully consider adoption for their family, whether you are fertile or infertile. God moves in adoption. You see Him so clearly ACT in big ways when you choose adoption for your family. It's incredibly amazing and faith altering for all involved. We love so much that people are praying for us. That people are talking to the Father for us. That fills our hearts so much.

This week we were given this email from a sweet friend of a our sister in law. It broke our hearts but in a divinely sweet way! Who knew that there was someone that we're not super close with, relationship-wise, praying SO fervently for us and our adoption. Less than two weeks before we were matched, Michelle, got married...in IRELAND and had our adoption on her heart....LITERALLY. Read the email she sent the day after her wedding.


Kim and Matt,


Just wanted to send along a very special message to you from Dublin, Ireland on this 23rd of June, 2013, the day after our wedding. Only a few days ago, Maolsheachlann (my new husband) and I found ourselves writing intercessions for our Nuptial Mass. We thought and thought for ages about all of the people we wanted to pray for, and for all of the causes and circumstances and situations we wanted to prayerfully remember on our special day. It took ages to consolidate all of it into something that could be read without adding an hour to the Mass! J


You might not realize that Dublin has been a whirlwind of abortion legislation recently, with the first ever legislation on the table to allow abortion now. We certainly wanted to keep that in our very vocal prayers. We also knew that getting married at a public shrine – The Shrine to St. Valentine – could attract hundreds of people we didn’t know, so we wanted to be very careful and purposeful as we expressed our prayers with our family, friends, and so many strangers! All this is to say:


I am very happy to share that your most fervent adoption intentions were among those that we offered up during our Mass. We were married on the Feast of St. Thomas More, who as you may already know is the patron saint of adoptions. Can’t hurt to add a sacrament and a Patron Saint to your intention, right?? J I wrote the intention on a little paper heart and tied a blue ribbon to it and pinned it to the inside of my dress so that it rested on my heart. It was my something blue. As I made my vows to love, honor, and cherish my husband and lovingly accept children, I asked God to answer your prayers for children before my own. Just wanted you to know that you were a part of our day in a special way and that there were prayers lifted up for you on June 22, 2013 from the Whitefriar Carmelite Street Church at 4:56 pm, 56 Aungier Street, Dublin, Ireland.



I hope that God blesses you abundantly and that you might keep me and my new family in your prayers as you wait for your Good News.



Love,

Mr. and Mrs. O Ceallaigh

God and His body are SO incredibly good. We're humbled beyond belief by the powerful prayer warriors that surround us and our son. We are seriously keeping a box of all the amazing letters, notes, cards, miracles that have happened in this process, to one day show our son who incredibly loved he was/is even before people had ever met him. 

Michelle and Maolsheachlann, you are beautiful. You're vocation has already begun to touch people's lives and point them toward Jesus by the way your hearts have entered into that covenant, prayerfully for other's needs above your own. The world is watching christian marriages. The world will be changed radically by yours.