I decided to jot down some questions we've been asked since the announcing of our adoption. We love, love, love that so much dialogue has happened since we've told people of our desire and plan to adopt. Please continue to ask questions. We're learning in this process, too. Chances are we've had a lot more time and prayer put into shaping our hearts for adoption than you have, and we'd love to share our hearts with you.
Why are you adopting? Is it because you can't conceive?
Adoption, in no way, is a plan B for us. We've had the desire to adopt long before we realized that conception would be difficult for us. Financial fears held us back for a long, long time. Until we realized that God is able to do more than we can even ask or imagine. We believe deeply that a desire to be parents... was not, to simply, pass on our genes.
Why choose a domestic option rather than international? Aren't you afraid what happened with Josiah will happen again? Isn't international just safer...emotionally?
There are risks with any adoption, both international and domestic. We aren't afraid of birth mothers. In fact, we feel called to meet with courageous birth moms and be a witness to our love for each other and for the Lord through meeting with the mother of our child. With domestic adoption, yes, birth mothers can change their minds. With international adoptions you have countries and governments changing their mind. We have seen many friends wait for a child internationally for over two years only to have that country decide to close adoptions. Adoption both domestic and international is risky business...but so so worth it. We are completely open to adopting internationally in the future. But for now, domestic is where we feel most called.
Why did you choose and agency all the way in Texas? Aren't there ones closer?
Yes, there are. Plenty. But after talking with many people, researching agencies in VA and even attending some local orientations, we didn't feel those agencies had the professionalism and track record that we were looking for. Our agency has been doing adoptions for 125 years. We also know people who have used the agency and were thrilled with them. We also found it difficult to find an agency these days that don't offer "snowflake babies", or embryonic adoption. That's something that we don't morally agree with and don't want to support an agency that offers that.
Why not do a private adoption? Aren't they SO much cheaper?
I could probably answer this question with two words. Go here.
But I'll spare you the super long blog post. Yes, private adoptions are less expensive but we've been there and done that. For us, it was a difficult experience. When working with an agency (especially our agency in particular), proper counseling is provided to all involved along with them acting as the mediator in the adoption. We feel at peace with using an agency. We appreciate the many people who have offered their advice of putting an ad in the paper or going through a pastor who matches up birth moms with adoptive parents on their own but we just can't risk our hearts in that way again...at least, not right now.
Will you accept a baby who's mother took drugs?
In the land of adoption, there is no "perfect baby"...but we DO know that our baby will be perfect to us. We feel strongly that the Lord led these women to choose adoption, to choose life and that is so so amazing in a world that shoves abortion down the throats of vulnerable and scared women. We feel called to caring for children who need parents. period. We're not looking for a "perfect baby" or a "perfect birth mom". If we were, I personally don't think we'd be really ready to parent because having a perfect child on your hip like a super-cute-accessory isn't what God calls us to. He wants us to help bring babies to heaven, regardless if the babies have issues, drug related or not. We're open for what God wants for our lives. We're on a mission and sometimes you get dirty, being on the battlefield for souls.
Are you open to a child of another race?
Yes. In fact, we're signed up for that! When we began this adoption adventure, we were told by Gladney that there was a need. A need for couples to adopt children who are African American and/or Biracial. Matt and I have both always felt more than fine with loving a child of any race unconditionally....so, why not? We are in the African American and Biracial Child's program at Gladney and we couldn't be more thrilled. Josiah, the little boy we adopted but ended up having to give back was biracial. We instantly loved him to pieces and saw him as truly our son. Just as God sees each of us as His sons and daughters...regardless of race.
Those are just a few questions, for now, that I can think of. If you have any more, please feel free to ask! I'd love to address them to you personally OR on this blog. I also plan on going more in depth with some of these questions in future posts...so stay tuned! :)
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