Christmas Miracles

I've been thinking for days on how to write this blog post. I knew that I needed to show God's amazing glory but have felt so so limited on being able to truly express how really incredible He is. We've been blown away in this adoption process and I have a feeling that's not going to end any time soon. All we said was a simple (and a bit scared!) "yes" to His will on adopting and God has ran with it ...for miles.

This Christmas, we've been given an incredible gift, a spiritual life change. We've truly witnessed and experienced first hand what Christmas really is. God sent his son for us...to live and die for us while we were/are in our transgressions. And He continues to forgive our sins today in the awesome sacrament of reconciliation. And you know what? It's FREE! No, really, it's free. I'll let that sink in.

It's free. There isn't a stinkin' thing you can do about it. Or make up for it. Just ask for forgiveness whole heartedly and freedom and forgiveness is yours. You're a new creation. It's grace!

And that's...humbling. This Christmas we've experienced the kind of love and generosity and provision from the Lord that is almost TOO much, too soon. Let me clarify that, we are incredibly thankful for God providing and loving on us and want it no other way. But, at least for me, in my humanity, I feel almost unworthy of all this goodness..I'm in complete and utter awe of how much God is loving me through this adoption process. I feel like I've tasted a tiny glimpse of heaven and how with being in the presence of Jesus (like all the time!) will completely envelope and overwhelm me. Yet, without the stain of sin in heaven, we'll be even more able and open to receive God's overwhelming love. Whoa. Although, I still DO feel like I'll feel overwhelmed by His love, even in heaven. Because, I mean, it's God!! :)

Experiencing God's unconditional love this Christmas all started out on Christmas morning where I opened a present that would unknowingly blow me away...yes, I received a Peyton Manning Broncos jersey from my brother and sister in law.  :) Okay, but for real, on to even more awesomeness. Yes, there's more than Peyton bliss!

Every Christmas my family picks names out of a hat and we have a $50 cap on a present for the person you pick. It has really been great the last couple of years with growing families and budgets and also getting back to what Christmas is ultimately about, spending time with loved ones and thanking the Lord for them, rather than being consumed with too many presents. Well, this year, my family showed us  in a deeper way than I think THEY even realized what Christmas is really about.

As my Grandmother opened the first gift of Christmas, she took out a check from the box that she opened. She said, "Oh look, it's a check! And it's made out to Matt and Kim." Wow, I thought that was so sweet for my Gram to ask for her gift from my aunt (who chose her name) to be a donation to us and our adoption. Little did I know, there was more...The next present was opened by another family member and it was the same thing...a check in a box made out to us for our adoption. At this point, my mind had finally put it together, especially as I looked up and saw a video camera glaring at me and a few dozen eyes staring at me with love. They had ALL chosen to not buy presents for each other...but to donate what they would have spent for Christmas to us...to our baby. I immediately broke down into tears. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for that kind of love. They then shoved ALL the presents towards us and we had to open each and every wrapped box that contained a check for us. It was humbling. It was overwhelming. We were undeserving. We were amazed. They showed Christ to us in ways they may never understand. They've  played a part in deepening our faith. They've touched us eternally.

And most importantly what an amazing story to share with our child one day. To tell him or her of the love their family has for them and to share an example of Christ's free love and grace to us through that moment. This Christmas is truly having eternal and spiritual effects. You see, adoption, like I've said and am continuing to grasp even deeper, is WAY more than us "getting" a kid or fulfilling that "picture perfect" family: husband, house, kid, dog, etc. Adoption is not liked by the enemy because it has God's glorious and eternal effects on all those involved. It takes us outside of ourselves. It causes us to stretch in faith. And as we've witnessed, causes others to do the same along side with us. We've seen people give to us for our adoption from their hearts and faith. We know that giving to others outside of your normal tithe is not an easy thing in these tough economic times. But we see love, sacrifice and most importantly faith with each check that we receive. And there is no way we can thank people enough.

Speaking of God's free and beautiful gift. We received just a couple of days after Christmas another overwhelming example of Christ's love for us. We received in the mail a card that was congratulating us on our future baby. You know, like a baby shower card. And in it was a VERY substantial donation with several hundred dollar bills. But the card wasn't signed at all and there was no return address...talk about humbling! We both fell to our knees and cried when we received it. I think I remember looking at Matt with tear filled eyes and a squeaky voice saying, "honey, this is ridiculous!" Haha Sorry, that's just how I felt! We were in complete awe. It was just Christ's love poured out over and over to us this Christmas.  But in our humanity, we were immediately "upset" that we didn't know WHO the generous giver was! Ever fiber in our being wanted to be able to somehow pay that person back by thanking them every day for life! But again, we couldn't. It was free, unconditional, generous love.

What in the world!?!?! God is amazing and so are the community of believers that surround us. This will forever be a Christmas to remember and I only wish that they keys on this computer weren't so stinkin' limiting on truly expressing how much this really touched us this Christmas. How joyful we are of the things to come in 2013 and how incredibly happy we feel to be bringing a child into this kind of overwhelming love. This kid isn't going to know what hit them! Pray for us as we continue on to the next steps in the process. We are finished with our home study and just waiting for the "official" approval from Gladney (any day now! eeek!!) Which means we'll officially be "waiting" for a referral, although this next part of the process is always the longest. Pray for us. Pray for our baby as he/she may already be conceived! Pray for the birth mother and father. Pray. :)