I've been wanting to write this post for a while and break down the cost of our adoption for you. When we tell people how much adoption actually costs, eye brows raise high with astonishment and we're usually given the question, "Why on earth does it cost so much to give a baby a good home?" Good question. Here's the answer:
Adoption Break Down
Gladney Adoption Fees:
$150 Application Fee
$14,900 ABC Program Fee (more on what ABC actually means and why we chose it later)
$500 Home Study Review Fee (because we live out of state and need a VA agency to do the HS)
"Wait, hold up...where does the $14,900 go??"
The program fee covers any and all birth mother expenses that may be needed such as medical and living expenses if our birth mother chooses to stay in the Gladney maternity home. It covers the time our child may need to stay in transitional care. This fee also covers lifetime counseling services that Gladney offers to us, our child and for the birth mother, both before and after placement.
Datz Foundation Fees:
$1500- Home Study Fee
$1050- 3 Post Placement visits by our social worker
Attorney Fee:
At Finalization, 6 months after we have our baby, we will travel again to Texas for our court date to finalize our adoption and a minimal fee (we're approximating $500) will be due to our attorney at that time.
Travel Expenses:
We approximate we'll travel to Texas a total of 3 times during the course of the year to meet birth moms and finally to bring our baby home!
Plane tickets- $1800-$2000 (we plan to try to score tickets for $300 a piece like we did our first time traveling to Texas. Feel free to donate flyer miles to us if you'd like!
That would help SO much!
We are hoping our stay in Texas will be free since my Aunt has good friends only 45 minutes from Gladney that said we are welcome to stay with them during our visits. Praise be to Jesus!
Total Adoption Expenses:
$20,600
God is able.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
What A Day!
Today Matt and I decided to take the day off and get some much needed adoption requirements done and out of the way. We thought taking one whole day to run errands around town was good and less stressful idea. And boy let me tell you...it was an awesome decision. God really blessed our day.
It began with picking up some yard sale items from a family friend. This friend said they just had a "few items" which later turned into a TON of awesome stuff! We brought my tiny toyota echo over there and with one look at the amount of things she had to donate, we became a little worried. There was no way it was all going to fit in my car. Let me tell you, God never ceases to amaze me. With my engineer of a husband, we meticulously crammed every last thing into every nook and cranny of my little car. It all fit! We were all pretty much amazed. God is good.
After that, we took a nice drive over to the court houses to get finger printed. I had a feeling that the places we went today were going to be miserable. You know, the court houses, DMV, etc. They aren't exactly what you think of as joyful places to be. But TODAY, they were! We barely had to wait in lines and everyone that we told we were adopting all said things like, "So are you excited?!", "Congratulations!", and "So are you getting a boy or a girl?". From the bank teller to the DMV lady to the finger printing lady...ALL made our day so exciting and joyful! God could not have covered this day more....well, actually He did cover it more...
You see, our adoption agency has us complete three outreach requirements. This means that we are to tell three people or organizations about Gladney and about adoption. They recommended people like pastors, counselors and they require one obgyn. I had completed two of the three requirements by giving information to our pastor as well as our youth minister at our parish who happens to be our brother. We thought those were good people to give this information to since our pastor and youth and young adult minister would be in close connection with individuals who could end up with an unplanned pregnancy. This way, they would have resources to offer them about adoption. My last requirement was to give information to an obgyn. I actually haven't been to a local gynecologist for a couple of years because I have been seeing our Catholic doctor in Pennsylvania and getting my yearly exams there. So I had the choice to either google search a nearby obgyn and drop by with the information there or do what my heart knew God wanted me to do.
I felt strongly for weeks to take the information to Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion provider in the United States. Something like over half of Planned Parenthood's income comes from abortions. Needless to say, adoption is not a high priority for them. They make their money from killing babies. We felt strongly that we were to go to Planned Parenthood and share with them that we're a young couple wanting and willing to adopt and that there are reputable agencies available to women with unplanned pregnancies. We wanted to be a witness to the staff and to the men and women in the waiting room that abortion is not necessary and that there are so many couples willing to adopt. As we arrived to Planned Parenthood, we were greeted, as we knew we would be, by some amazing prayer warriors with the Forty Days for Life campaign. They are powerful praying people who come out daily to pray for those entering and leaving the clinic. They are also there to talk to any birth mom or father who need someone to talk to. As we parked, one of the prayer warriors offered to give us brochures (thinking we were a couple heading in for an abortion) but when we told them what we were doing, they were so excited for us to be witnessing in this way. They did, however, warn us that we might not be allowed in. Planned Parenthood had apparently turned down several people earlier today for various reasons. If you've ever been to Planned Parenthood, it's a pretty creepy place, if I do say so myself. They have the place on high security. Straight up, lock down. You have to be buzzed in on both the outside door but also to the inside door into the waiting room. I've prayed there before but have never tried to enter.
So we blessed ourselves with some holy water and marched into, what felt spiritually like, a war zone. I just knew that there was a battle going on for these women and children in the spirit world, not to mention in our country right now. We prayed as we walked up to the clinic doors. I told the lady over the intercom that we were a married couple trying to fulfill outreach requirements for our adoption agency and that we had information to give them on our agency. Who knows why but by the grace of God, the lady on the intercom actually allowed us in. Had to be the Holy Spirit. We entered and spoke with the nurse in the waiting room where several patients could hear, hoping the word adoption would play over and over in their minds like a song they couldn't get out of their heads. The nurse seemed extremely on guard at first, not sure what we were there to say. But we were pleasant and godly and told her about the agency and our plans to adopt through them. We told the lady that we felt like this would be a good place to give this information to, seeing as how they come across so many women with unplanned pregnancies. We also shared with her that our agency would be willing to send a representative there to educate their staff on adoption and Gladney in order for Planned Parenthood to truly be able to referral people to adoption. We finished our conversation and handed over the brochures and information to the nurse and headed out on our way. God covered the meeting from top to bottom. Pray the Holy Spirit would do some work in the life of the nurse, Jessica, we spoke to as well as those ten or so people sitting in the waiting room, listening.
We'll never be sure of the implications of our words at Planned Parenthood today. But we do know that when God tells us to act, we act...and God handles the rest. He has shown us this over and over again through this adoption journey. Pray, pray, pray for more praying people to act on the Holy Spirit induced urge to head out to Planned Parenthood to pray and be a witness to life. Pray for those men and women entering for abortions and leaving from abortions. Pray that they would somehow have the heart of a mother and of a father and care more for their child's needs than their own. Pray for healing in the hearts of women who have already had abortions. Pray for the doctor's, nurses and all the workers at Planned Parenthood, that their hearts would be opened to the Holy Spirit and His truth about life. Pray for conversions and the boldness to act. Pray for our nation and our future President and administration to see life that life begins at conception and to put an end to the evils of abortion.
Pray.
It began with picking up some yard sale items from a family friend. This friend said they just had a "few items" which later turned into a TON of awesome stuff! We brought my tiny toyota echo over there and with one look at the amount of things she had to donate, we became a little worried. There was no way it was all going to fit in my car. Let me tell you, God never ceases to amaze me. With my engineer of a husband, we meticulously crammed every last thing into every nook and cranny of my little car. It all fit! We were all pretty much amazed. God is good.
After that, we took a nice drive over to the court houses to get finger printed. I had a feeling that the places we went today were going to be miserable. You know, the court houses, DMV, etc. They aren't exactly what you think of as joyful places to be. But TODAY, they were! We barely had to wait in lines and everyone that we told we were adopting all said things like, "So are you excited?!", "Congratulations!", and "So are you getting a boy or a girl?". From the bank teller to the DMV lady to the finger printing lady...ALL made our day so exciting and joyful! God could not have covered this day more....well, actually He did cover it more...
You see, our adoption agency has us complete three outreach requirements. This means that we are to tell three people or organizations about Gladney and about adoption. They recommended people like pastors, counselors and they require one obgyn. I had completed two of the three requirements by giving information to our pastor as well as our youth minister at our parish who happens to be our brother. We thought those were good people to give this information to since our pastor and youth and young adult minister would be in close connection with individuals who could end up with an unplanned pregnancy. This way, they would have resources to offer them about adoption. My last requirement was to give information to an obgyn. I actually haven't been to a local gynecologist for a couple of years because I have been seeing our Catholic doctor in Pennsylvania and getting my yearly exams there. So I had the choice to either google search a nearby obgyn and drop by with the information there or do what my heart knew God wanted me to do.
I felt strongly for weeks to take the information to Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion provider in the United States. Something like over half of Planned Parenthood's income comes from abortions. Needless to say, adoption is not a high priority for them. They make their money from killing babies. We felt strongly that we were to go to Planned Parenthood and share with them that we're a young couple wanting and willing to adopt and that there are reputable agencies available to women with unplanned pregnancies. We wanted to be a witness to the staff and to the men and women in the waiting room that abortion is not necessary and that there are so many couples willing to adopt. As we arrived to Planned Parenthood, we were greeted, as we knew we would be, by some amazing prayer warriors with the Forty Days for Life campaign. They are powerful praying people who come out daily to pray for those entering and leaving the clinic. They are also there to talk to any birth mom or father who need someone to talk to. As we parked, one of the prayer warriors offered to give us brochures (thinking we were a couple heading in for an abortion) but when we told them what we were doing, they were so excited for us to be witnessing in this way. They did, however, warn us that we might not be allowed in. Planned Parenthood had apparently turned down several people earlier today for various reasons. If you've ever been to Planned Parenthood, it's a pretty creepy place, if I do say so myself. They have the place on high security. Straight up, lock down. You have to be buzzed in on both the outside door but also to the inside door into the waiting room. I've prayed there before but have never tried to enter.
So we blessed ourselves with some holy water and marched into, what felt spiritually like, a war zone. I just knew that there was a battle going on for these women and children in the spirit world, not to mention in our country right now. We prayed as we walked up to the clinic doors. I told the lady over the intercom that we were a married couple trying to fulfill outreach requirements for our adoption agency and that we had information to give them on our agency. Who knows why but by the grace of God, the lady on the intercom actually allowed us in. Had to be the Holy Spirit. We entered and spoke with the nurse in the waiting room where several patients could hear, hoping the word adoption would play over and over in their minds like a song they couldn't get out of their heads. The nurse seemed extremely on guard at first, not sure what we were there to say. But we were pleasant and godly and told her about the agency and our plans to adopt through them. We told the lady that we felt like this would be a good place to give this information to, seeing as how they come across so many women with unplanned pregnancies. We also shared with her that our agency would be willing to send a representative there to educate their staff on adoption and Gladney in order for Planned Parenthood to truly be able to referral people to adoption. We finished our conversation and handed over the brochures and information to the nurse and headed out on our way. God covered the meeting from top to bottom. Pray the Holy Spirit would do some work in the life of the nurse, Jessica, we spoke to as well as those ten or so people sitting in the waiting room, listening.
We'll never be sure of the implications of our words at Planned Parenthood today. But we do know that when God tells us to act, we act...and God handles the rest. He has shown us this over and over again through this adoption journey. Pray, pray, pray for more praying people to act on the Holy Spirit induced urge to head out to Planned Parenthood to pray and be a witness to life. Pray for those men and women entering for abortions and leaving from abortions. Pray that they would somehow have the heart of a mother and of a father and care more for their child's needs than their own. Pray for healing in the hearts of women who have already had abortions. Pray for the doctor's, nurses and all the workers at Planned Parenthood, that their hearts would be opened to the Holy Spirit and His truth about life. Pray for conversions and the boldness to act. Pray for our nation and our future President and administration to see life that life begins at conception and to put an end to the evils of abortion.
Pray.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Coolest House on the Block
This year is full of so many fun things! We're so excited to be on the journey to adopting our son or daughter and we're super stoked to have our community involved in the process with us. We're having a yard sale in order to raise some funds for our adoption and the amount of people donating is just amazing! The support we're getting just fills our hearts with so much joy. It's also filling our houses with a lot of stuff! So come on out on November 3rd, and buy some of it! We've got some good stuff, too!! Surf boards, Foosball Table, end tables, clothes from my closet, etc!
Another little way Matt and I are celebrating our adoption journey and spreading the word about adoption is with our neighbors this halloween! You see, Wendy's (yes, the fast food restaurant) is selling 10 free junior frosty coupons for a $1 donation to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. So...Matt and I plan to buy between 5 and 10 coupon booklets which will enable us to give out between 50 and 100 free junior frosty coupons to kids, instead of candy. It's fun, unique, and spreads the word about adoption to our community! On the back of the coupon it says, "There are more than 100,000 children in foster care who need a family right now. We're dedicated in helping them find loving, adoptive homes through our partnership with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Wendy's Wonderful Kids Program. To learn more, please visit wendys.com/givingback. "
It's a fun way to share the news with our neighbors and spread the word about adoption as the option! I think sometimes when young people are faced with an unplanned pregnancy, they often wonder who will adopt their baby. They may think there isn't anyone out there willing. They may have never even met someone who has adopted before. So, we feel it's our calling to show people a couple that are adopting. Show them that there ARE loving people out there that would adoption their child. And show them that abortion is never, ever necessary.
So...stop by our home this halloween and you'll get a free junior frosty coupon from the Hamrick home celebrating life, celebrating adoption!
Another little way Matt and I are celebrating our adoption journey and spreading the word about adoption is with our neighbors this halloween! You see, Wendy's (yes, the fast food restaurant) is selling 10 free junior frosty coupons for a $1 donation to the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. So...Matt and I plan to buy between 5 and 10 coupon booklets which will enable us to give out between 50 and 100 free junior frosty coupons to kids, instead of candy. It's fun, unique, and spreads the word about adoption to our community! On the back of the coupon it says, "There are more than 100,000 children in foster care who need a family right now. We're dedicated in helping them find loving, adoptive homes through our partnership with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Wendy's Wonderful Kids Program. To learn more, please visit wendys.com/givingback. "
It's a fun way to share the news with our neighbors and spread the word about adoption as the option! I think sometimes when young people are faced with an unplanned pregnancy, they often wonder who will adopt their baby. They may think there isn't anyone out there willing. They may have never even met someone who has adopted before. So, we feel it's our calling to show people a couple that are adopting. Show them that there ARE loving people out there that would adoption their child. And show them that abortion is never, ever necessary.
So...stop by our home this halloween and you'll get a free junior frosty coupon from the Hamrick home celebrating life, celebrating adoption!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Praying for YOU...
"LORD, you have probed me, you know me:
you know when I sit and stand;
you understand my thoughts from afar.
You sift through my travels and my rest;
with all my ways you are familiar.
Where can I go from your spirit?
From your presence, where can I flee?
If I ascend to the heavens, you are there;
if I lie down in Sheol, there you are.
If I take the wings of dawn
and dwell beyond the sea,
Even there your hand guides me,
your right hand holds me fast.
You formed my inmost being;
you knit me in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, because I am wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works!
My very self you know."
-Psalm 139
This is one of those days that I dream of our little one. An autumn morning where leaves begin to fall and there is an excitement in the air. This is one of those mornings where I feel somehow close to a child that I have never met. I have no idea God's plan and His timing in bringing our baby to us but as things progress in our adoption process, excitement rises up in our hearts. Our yearning burns even more to meet our son or daughter. It's mornings like these that I wonder if our child has even been conceived yet... and then I pray so, so earnestly for him or her. It's a strange feeling to love something so much when you haven't even met him or her yet. You sometimes feel a little wacko. But then I am reminded in scripture that even before our child is formed in his/her mother's womb, He/she is loved by our heavenly Father, too. And I don't feel as crazy. :)
There is so much that I pray for, for our son or daughter. And the church's daily scripture readings remind me of how to pray for my child. I pray that my child would know and believe the words in Psalm 139... to the core. That he/she would know they are fearfully and wonderfully made, worthy of every good thing. I pray that our child would know the guidance of the Spirit and trust in it throughout his/her life. I pray that they would never feel lonely and find comfort in his/her perfect Father in heaven. I pray that he/she would grow to learn that our family was knit together by God in a way that beautifully represents the gospel message and our relationship with our heavenly Father. I pray that our family would always be a reminder to him/her of our Father's love for him/her and humanity....that our Lord has "formed and fashioned our human family to share in the infinite love of the Trinity".
...And during those times when my heart is exhausted and I have so, so much to pray. When all my words scramble together and all I can manage to do is kneel...
...I utter the words of Paul...
"For this reason I kneel before the Father,
from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self,
and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love,
may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
- Ephesians 3
It's just one of those days...when all my heart can do is pray.
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Friday, October 5, 2012
Empty Tomb
After a night of babysitting my nephew so that my sister and brother in law could have a much needed date night, I decided to stop by St. Matthew's perpetual adoration chapel for some prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. The chapel is on the way home and, I tell you, there isn't a time that I pass it that I don't hear God's still, small voice saying, visit me.
As I drove up to the chapel, the first thing I noticed was that there were no cars parked outside. Not a one! This was strange as Jesus is never left alone, not even for a minute. But I proceeded to enter the chapel in hopeful expectation that my Jesus would be there and that the hourly adorer must have simply walked there that night. Much to my dismay when I entered the chapel, Jesus was missing! I quickly began to turn away as if the adoration chapel were a store who's closed sign was lit. But as I walked away, something took me back there.
So I sat there in the chapel doing what I had gone there to do, pray for people. You see, we sent out our support letters earlier this week. Financing this adoption is a huge leap of faith...a leap we had put off for a long, long time. And as we have sent out our letters for support and have received a few responses back, our lives have begun to change drastically. I am beginning to think that the spiritual effects of this adoption are not only going to affect our future child but also us...in a big, big way. The very first donation that we received literally brought me to tears. And with the couple more that we received this week, more tears flowed. Matt and I are eternally grateful and forever touched by the mere fact that God is providing and people are hearing the call of the Lord to support us. So I went to the chapel tonight to pray for those people that generously gave towards our adoption this week, so that a child will have the opportunity to have parents and Matt and I would be able to have the blessing of children in our lives.
As I sat in the chapel with Jesus in Blessed Sacrament not there, I began to think of Mary Magdalene visiting the tomb of Jesus and realizing that He was not there.
"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
"... Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb ."- John 20
As I reflected on that scene in silence, asking the Lord to speak to me, I connected with Mary. I came to see Jesus where I knew He would be. But He wasn't there. My initial reaction was much like Mary's, sadness, disappointment, confusion. But then God reminded me of the hope of the resurrection! He reminded me once again that Jesus is not only present in the most Blessed Sacrament but truly and totally present in the people in our lives. Earlier this week, I fell to my knees when we received our very first donations towards our adoption. I literally felt like the funds towards our adoption were not only coming from the people that sent them but truly from God Himself. And with each donation, I feel in a deeper way, Christ's love for me. I know that this all sounds like a christianese thing that people nonchalantly say, "the Lord provides blah blah blah"...But until you've stepped out in a way of faith that scares the mess out of you and you actually see God working and providing immediately, those words no longer seem so cliche. He so provides.
It's early in the process of fundraising and we have a ways to go but with each day that passes, our faith is altered in ways that we could have never imagined without first hearing the call of the Lord to adopt and taking the jump.
Thank you to those that have donated to us already this week. You have no idea how you have been Christ to Matt, myself and our future child. Your notes of love bring endless tears of joy. We're keeping those little love notes as proof of God's amazing power ...when people simply answer His call.
Just as a note, the Blessed Sacrament and the monstrance were in fact not present in the chapel that night due to the fact that St. Matt's was celebrating First Friday Mass. I must have gotten there as it was ending. There were cars leaving the parking lot to the church. Jesus had been distributed in the flesh to those who attended the First Friday Mass just minutes before I came...another reminder that Jesus in the flesh is truly alive in His people. God is so, so good.
As I drove up to the chapel, the first thing I noticed was that there were no cars parked outside. Not a one! This was strange as Jesus is never left alone, not even for a minute. But I proceeded to enter the chapel in hopeful expectation that my Jesus would be there and that the hourly adorer must have simply walked there that night. Much to my dismay when I entered the chapel, Jesus was missing! I quickly began to turn away as if the adoration chapel were a store who's closed sign was lit. But as I walked away, something took me back there.
So I sat there in the chapel doing what I had gone there to do, pray for people. You see, we sent out our support letters earlier this week. Financing this adoption is a huge leap of faith...a leap we had put off for a long, long time. And as we have sent out our letters for support and have received a few responses back, our lives have begun to change drastically. I am beginning to think that the spiritual effects of this adoption are not only going to affect our future child but also us...in a big, big way. The very first donation that we received literally brought me to tears. And with the couple more that we received this week, more tears flowed. Matt and I are eternally grateful and forever touched by the mere fact that God is providing and people are hearing the call of the Lord to support us. So I went to the chapel tonight to pray for those people that generously gave towards our adoption this week, so that a child will have the opportunity to have parents and Matt and I would be able to have the blessing of children in our lives.
As I sat in the chapel with Jesus in Blessed Sacrament not there, I began to think of Mary Magdalene visiting the tomb of Jesus and realizing that He was not there.
"Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
"... Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb ."- John 20
As I reflected on that scene in silence, asking the Lord to speak to me, I connected with Mary. I came to see Jesus where I knew He would be. But He wasn't there. My initial reaction was much like Mary's, sadness, disappointment, confusion. But then God reminded me of the hope of the resurrection! He reminded me once again that Jesus is not only present in the most Blessed Sacrament but truly and totally present in the people in our lives. Earlier this week, I fell to my knees when we received our very first donations towards our adoption. I literally felt like the funds towards our adoption were not only coming from the people that sent them but truly from God Himself. And with each donation, I feel in a deeper way, Christ's love for me. I know that this all sounds like a christianese thing that people nonchalantly say, "the Lord provides blah blah blah"...But until you've stepped out in a way of faith that scares the mess out of you and you actually see God working and providing immediately, those words no longer seem so cliche. He so provides.
It's early in the process of fundraising and we have a ways to go but with each day that passes, our faith is altered in ways that we could have never imagined without first hearing the call of the Lord to adopt and taking the jump.
Thank you to those that have donated to us already this week. You have no idea how you have been Christ to Matt, myself and our future child. Your notes of love bring endless tears of joy. We're keeping those little love notes as proof of God's amazing power ...when people simply answer His call.
Just as a note, the Blessed Sacrament and the monstrance were in fact not present in the chapel that night due to the fact that St. Matt's was celebrating First Friday Mass. I must have gotten there as it was ending. There were cars leaving the parking lot to the church. Jesus had been distributed in the flesh to those who attended the First Friday Mass just minutes before I came...another reminder that Jesus in the flesh is truly alive in His people. God is so, so good.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
One Man's Junk Is Another Man's Treasure!
Our first official fundraiser for our adoption is coming upon us! My amazing sister, Sarah, has graciously taken the initiative to throw this awesome fundraiser for our adoption. We got the idea from our awesome friends, Matt and Catherine, who had a yard sale a couple of years ago for their international adoption where they raised and unbelievable $4,000! What an incredible blessing to them and their sweet baby, Elizabeth. We drove to Richmond to help and little did we know that we were going to witness such a miracle. It was an amazing way to get the community involved in their adoption but also to spread the word about adoption and show others that they truly CAN afford to adopt, with the Lord's help. They were definitely a witness to us and continue to be. They're unwavering faith through this 2+ year journey to bring their baby home from Africa is simply beautiful.
We are accepting donations towards our yard sale now! So if you have anything you'd like to donate, let me know! We can come pick it up from you! If you'd like to come and shop, please do! And tell your friends and church communities. Because, yes we need stuff to sell but we also need buyers! So please, spread the word.
We are accepting donations towards our yard sale now! So if you have anything you'd like to donate, let me know! We can come pick it up from you! If you'd like to come and shop, please do! And tell your friends and church communities. Because, yes we need stuff to sell but we also need buyers! So please, spread the word.
Our yard sale is on November 3rd
7am to 2pm or whenever we sell out, come as early as you can!
1313 Sparrow Road Chesapeake, Va!
Hope to see you there!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
2012 Adoption Tax Credit
Help sign this petition to keep adoption affordable. The adoption Tax Credit is under review for 2012. Families wanting to adopt NEED this tax credit to help with the high cost of adoption. Take 2 seconds and sign this petition for us!
Click here and Sign the Petition
Thank you so so much! Pray that they extend this tax credit. It will help us along with all people adopting greatly.
The Process
The number one question we have received from people learning of our plan to adopt through Gladney is, "So...how long until you get a baby?". It's a question that looms over the mind of many who know we have desired a child for so. many. years. It's a question that most prospective adoptive parents are yearning to know themselves. Interestingly enough, it's the very first topic the CEO of Gladney took the initiative to address in the first 3 minutes of our orientation day at Gladney a couple of months ago. He knew that it was something all 18 or so couples at the orientation were dying to know. So here is what he said. On average, the wait before placement (when the child is placed with the adoptive parents) is approximately 12 to 15 months. But in the same sentence he said, "Now you can throw that timeline out the window". Nice. Because every single circumstance is different. It could be sooner. It could be longer. It's funny how the length of time of this process has honestly really never crossed my mind. What looms over in my head is, "WILL I receive a child...and WILL that child ever be taken away". So...I asked those very questions that day, needing to know what Gladney would say.
Matt and I, over prayer, have decided on participating in the Domestic Infant Adoption program. We prayed about doing international adoption but honestly, didn't feel a tug from the Lord towards a particular country. Not that we don't have a heart for other countries but we've always felt a strong urge to love on children in the U.S. There is a lot of poverty in all parts of the world...sometimes it just looks differently. We feel strongly that choosing to adopt from the U.S. is an answer to abortion in our country. As Christians, we pray earnestly in front of abortion clinics and vote Pro-life in elections (which, might I add, is all so so good and necessary) but Matt and I feel it's our duty also as Christians to answer the cries of these birth moms and babies and open our homes to them. What a beautiful culture of life we would have if all families, whether fertile or infertile, seriously discerned adoption as a part of their vocation journey!
Some of you who know our story might be wondering, "But isn't domestic adoption risky?" Adoption is risky. It's not an easy process. Whether domestic or international, there is always the likelihood of a bumpy road ahead of you. Yes, we will most likely meet our child's birth mother but honestly even after all we have been through with our previous private and very open adoption, (meaning through and attorney and not an agency), I would still love to meet my child's birth mom so that one day I can tell him/her about the courageous woman that showed Christ in a very real way through choosing life and choosing adoption for her child. If I were an adopted child, I would want to know who my birth mother was. I would want to know my story.
Back to the process. We first sign up with the agency meaning we fill out mounds of paperwork and give them a percentage of the total cost of the adoption. Done. Next in our process is to get a home study completed. We have chosen an agency to do our home study that is local since our adoption agency is in Texas. This process can take up to three months if we move quickly on it. Once we complete our home study and we are approved, we will begin working on our Profile Book that will be shown to birth moms. It will consist of lovely pictures of YOU, our family and friends, as well as our home and our little pup Bella. We will also write information about our lives and things we love to do inside the book. Our caseworker, who has several other couples on her list, will go down her list of couples and match up birth moms to couples according to different criteria such as how long we've been waiting in the process, things we are okay with like drug use history, race, mental illness that may run in the birth family, etc. All this we have filled out in our mounds of paperwork. If we seem to match up well with a birth mother that they have come in contact with, our caseworker will show the birth mom our profile book. This particular birth mom will more than likely have several other books to choose from as there are three case workers that work at Gladney. IF the mother chooses us, we will get a call from our caseworker and we will more than likely arrange to meet the birthmother in Texas or wherever she is. This is typically over dinner with our caseworkers present. This will be completely and utterly nerve wracking but also a great opportunity to be a witness of our love for each other and for the Lord to her. There is a chance that we do not meet the birth mother, if that is what she chooses to do, though most moms at least want to meet the couples.
If all goes well and we are MATCHED!! with a birth mother, it is up to us and what we agree on with the birth mother as far as future interactions with her. It may be that we send, through the agency, pictures and/or letters for the first few years of our child's life. Which is all good to me. Why not show the birth mother what an amazing choice of LIFE she made and that her decision to choose adoption was so right for her child!?
Once we are matched with a birth mom, it is generally 3 months or less until our child is born. Birth mothers do not choose adoptive parents until they are in the last trimester. Gladney does a lot of counseling with the mothers in preparation and they want them to make decisions that they will commit to before involving adoptive couples. Back to the two questions that loomed in my mind, "What if we never get picked? And if we are, will our child ever be taken away?" Gladney said that yes, we will eventually get picked if we stick with the process. They pretty much guarantee it. As to my second question, there has been one time in this particular worker at Gladney's history of working at Gladney (20 years!) that a child was ever been taken out of the adoptive parent's home. She said that Gladney NEVER suggests to an adoptive couple to take the child before ALL parental rights are relinquished. In this particular situation, the birthmother signed over her rights but Gladney was waiting to find the birth father (sometimes that is a tricky and lengthly process). The adoptive parents wanted the baby in there home as soon as possible so they insisted in having the child come into their home. Long story short, the father of the child came forward and wanted his child. The child was taken from their home. Gladney warned the parents and highly suggested that they not take the child but I can completely understand the adoptive parent's desire to be with their child. Gladney works very hard to ensure this never happens. They have been in the domestic adoption business for 125 years and strongly suggest we take their advice in situations like this. One way in which they ensure to protect adoptive parents from this is by providing Transitional Care for infants. Every birth mother has the right to change her mind in the first 48 hours of the birth. And sometimes, because of legal issues with the birth father and trying to locate him especially if the birth mother has had multiple partners around the time of conception, there is a wait time anywhere from a few days to as long as 31 days. In this case, our child, will stay with the Transitional Families. These are people who volunteer with Gladney to take care of newborns in their homes for those few days or weeks. God bless those beautiful people. Gladney wants the Placement moment for adoptive parents to be free of worry and just a moment of pure joy. I have to admit, that this blows me away. I can not even imagine that the first time I hold my baby, he/she will truly be mine without a fear in the world that he/she will be taken from me. I think I am going to have a hard time believing that. My only experience of being given a child was filled with so many questions, fears, unknowns. Placement day with Gladney will truly be a day of pure joy for us. I'm pretty sure I'll just cry my eyes out like I almost do each time I think about that day.
So...there is the process in a nutshell...believe me, there is a lot more to it especially legally but we honestly feel called to this agency because of how much it protects all lives involved. They offer counseling to us, to birth moms and even to our future child. If he/she is a teenager and is having serious issues dealing with being adopted and wanting to know why his/her birth mom could give them up, Gladney counselors are trained and willing to offer free counseling to our child for the rest of their lives. Gladney wants to be a part of every adoptive families lives and continue to offer services. They also offer free counseling services to birth moms even after the birth if they are having a difficult time grieving the loss of their child. They are a wonderful agency that we truly trust. But ultimately, our trust and faith in this whole process is mostly definitely on Jesus. Because He is the true life giver and the one who will ensure that the right child is united with us.
Please pray for us in this process. Pray for our caseworker and all involved at Gladney. That they would have good discernment in choosing birth moms to look at our profile book. Pray that Matt and I wait well in this process. That we focus on others rather than just ourselves and our adoption. It's easy to get consumed with the process and the waiting. Pray that we use our time of waiting to serve others because I know that is what Jesus wants. Pray for our future child, his birth mom, and for Matt and I. Pray that the Lord teaches us over the next year what it truly means to be good, Christian parents and how to raise a child to love and serve Jesus with their whole lives.
We need your prayers.
Matt and I, over prayer, have decided on participating in the Domestic Infant Adoption program. We prayed about doing international adoption but honestly, didn't feel a tug from the Lord towards a particular country. Not that we don't have a heart for other countries but we've always felt a strong urge to love on children in the U.S. There is a lot of poverty in all parts of the world...sometimes it just looks differently. We feel strongly that choosing to adopt from the U.S. is an answer to abortion in our country. As Christians, we pray earnestly in front of abortion clinics and vote Pro-life in elections (which, might I add, is all so so good and necessary) but Matt and I feel it's our duty also as Christians to answer the cries of these birth moms and babies and open our homes to them. What a beautiful culture of life we would have if all families, whether fertile or infertile, seriously discerned adoption as a part of their vocation journey!
Some of you who know our story might be wondering, "But isn't domestic adoption risky?" Adoption is risky. It's not an easy process. Whether domestic or international, there is always the likelihood of a bumpy road ahead of you. Yes, we will most likely meet our child's birth mother but honestly even after all we have been through with our previous private and very open adoption, (meaning through and attorney and not an agency), I would still love to meet my child's birth mom so that one day I can tell him/her about the courageous woman that showed Christ in a very real way through choosing life and choosing adoption for her child. If I were an adopted child, I would want to know who my birth mother was. I would want to know my story.
Back to the process. We first sign up with the agency meaning we fill out mounds of paperwork and give them a percentage of the total cost of the adoption. Done. Next in our process is to get a home study completed. We have chosen an agency to do our home study that is local since our adoption agency is in Texas. This process can take up to three months if we move quickly on it. Once we complete our home study and we are approved, we will begin working on our Profile Book that will be shown to birth moms. It will consist of lovely pictures of YOU, our family and friends, as well as our home and our little pup Bella. We will also write information about our lives and things we love to do inside the book. Our caseworker, who has several other couples on her list, will go down her list of couples and match up birth moms to couples according to different criteria such as how long we've been waiting in the process, things we are okay with like drug use history, race, mental illness that may run in the birth family, etc. All this we have filled out in our mounds of paperwork. If we seem to match up well with a birth mother that they have come in contact with, our caseworker will show the birth mom our profile book. This particular birth mom will more than likely have several other books to choose from as there are three case workers that work at Gladney. IF the mother chooses us, we will get a call from our caseworker and we will more than likely arrange to meet the birthmother in Texas or wherever she is. This is typically over dinner with our caseworkers present. This will be completely and utterly nerve wracking but also a great opportunity to be a witness of our love for each other and for the Lord to her. There is a chance that we do not meet the birth mother, if that is what she chooses to do, though most moms at least want to meet the couples.
If all goes well and we are MATCHED!! with a birth mother, it is up to us and what we agree on with the birth mother as far as future interactions with her. It may be that we send, through the agency, pictures and/or letters for the first few years of our child's life. Which is all good to me. Why not show the birth mother what an amazing choice of LIFE she made and that her decision to choose adoption was so right for her child!?
Once we are matched with a birth mom, it is generally 3 months or less until our child is born. Birth mothers do not choose adoptive parents until they are in the last trimester. Gladney does a lot of counseling with the mothers in preparation and they want them to make decisions that they will commit to before involving adoptive couples. Back to the two questions that loomed in my mind, "What if we never get picked? And if we are, will our child ever be taken away?" Gladney said that yes, we will eventually get picked if we stick with the process. They pretty much guarantee it. As to my second question, there has been one time in this particular worker at Gladney's history of working at Gladney (20 years!) that a child was ever been taken out of the adoptive parent's home. She said that Gladney NEVER suggests to an adoptive couple to take the child before ALL parental rights are relinquished. In this particular situation, the birthmother signed over her rights but Gladney was waiting to find the birth father (sometimes that is a tricky and lengthly process). The adoptive parents wanted the baby in there home as soon as possible so they insisted in having the child come into their home. Long story short, the father of the child came forward and wanted his child. The child was taken from their home. Gladney warned the parents and highly suggested that they not take the child but I can completely understand the adoptive parent's desire to be with their child. Gladney works very hard to ensure this never happens. They have been in the domestic adoption business for 125 years and strongly suggest we take their advice in situations like this. One way in which they ensure to protect adoptive parents from this is by providing Transitional Care for infants. Every birth mother has the right to change her mind in the first 48 hours of the birth. And sometimes, because of legal issues with the birth father and trying to locate him especially if the birth mother has had multiple partners around the time of conception, there is a wait time anywhere from a few days to as long as 31 days. In this case, our child, will stay with the Transitional Families. These are people who volunteer with Gladney to take care of newborns in their homes for those few days or weeks. God bless those beautiful people. Gladney wants the Placement moment for adoptive parents to be free of worry and just a moment of pure joy. I have to admit, that this blows me away. I can not even imagine that the first time I hold my baby, he/she will truly be mine without a fear in the world that he/she will be taken from me. I think I am going to have a hard time believing that. My only experience of being given a child was filled with so many questions, fears, unknowns. Placement day with Gladney will truly be a day of pure joy for us. I'm pretty sure I'll just cry my eyes out like I almost do each time I think about that day.
So...there is the process in a nutshell...believe me, there is a lot more to it especially legally but we honestly feel called to this agency because of how much it protects all lives involved. They offer counseling to us, to birth moms and even to our future child. If he/she is a teenager and is having serious issues dealing with being adopted and wanting to know why his/her birth mom could give them up, Gladney counselors are trained and willing to offer free counseling to our child for the rest of their lives. Gladney wants to be a part of every adoptive families lives and continue to offer services. They also offer free counseling services to birth moms even after the birth if they are having a difficult time grieving the loss of their child. They are a wonderful agency that we truly trust. But ultimately, our trust and faith in this whole process is mostly definitely on Jesus. Because He is the true life giver and the one who will ensure that the right child is united with us.
Please pray for us in this process. Pray for our caseworker and all involved at Gladney. That they would have good discernment in choosing birth moms to look at our profile book. Pray that Matt and I wait well in this process. That we focus on others rather than just ourselves and our adoption. It's easy to get consumed with the process and the waiting. Pray that we use our time of waiting to serve others because I know that is what Jesus wants. Pray for our future child, his birth mom, and for Matt and I. Pray that the Lord teaches us over the next year what it truly means to be good, Christian parents and how to raise a child to love and serve Jesus with their whole lives.
We need your prayers.
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