I thought I'd take a moment to update ya'll on how things are looking on the adoption front. We're about half way through our home study process. Our agency had said that the home study process would take a good three months to complete. Not sure why we thought we would excel through the process and complete it faster and without wrinkles. And although things have gone pretty smoothly and quickly, it can't go fast enough for me :) I'm just really excited to see what God has in store for us.
We have completed two out of the three home study visits. We met with our social worker once at her office, she came once to our home (more on that later) and we're awaiting to schedule our third meeting with her but Thanksgiving is sort of getting in the way of that. But trust me, we will NOT go without recognizing our blessings THIS Thanksgiving. The process of adoption has been one blessing after another.
Our first meeting with our social worker was pretty nerve wracking but I think that's just sort of the way it goes for all couples. We were almost late (!) due to my husband losing his wallet the day prior and him being at the bank to straighten things out with that. No worries, all money and hopefully identity is secure now :) But to almost be late to our first visit with the social worker?!?!? Ahh! I think I have like 5 more grey hairs now. Nice. But we weren't late just maybe a little frazzled in the beginning of our meeting. The meeting with our social worker was actually pretty awesome. Instead of her "checking us out" to see if we'd be fit parents, it's more like pre parenting counseling. We talk about our relationship as a married couple and how that will change as we become parents. She even gave us a very important homework assignment when we left...to figure out how we are still going to have date nights. I just thought that was so cool. For the past twelve years, date nights have been very important to us in our relationship. So many times, I think, couples lose sight of who they are or who they were as a madly in love unit. And that honestly hurts no one more than the child. In our world today, children need to see parents in love. Our social worker encouraged us to not become a child centered family. That advice sort of through me off guard at first but I have come to really understand that statement as I've reflected on it over the last few weeks. First and foremost, we'll be Christ-centered. I fully intend to love God, love my husband, love my child, in that order period.
Our second visit was our home visit where our social worker (who is awesome by the way, really great Christian lady) came to our home. She gave us a checklist ahead of time that showed all that she was needing to see in our home. Things like a fire extinguisher , which we always have thanks to our dear, awesome practical brother Ben who gives them to all of us at Christmas every three years or so when they expire. Thanks, Ben! I think we passed because of you ;) Other things included having your cleaning chemicals locked and away and things like that. Our social worker arrive ten minutes early. We think that is their plan...to catch us off guard :) We had individual interviews with her in our home. She asked us questions like how do we describe our spouse, what kinds of things do we argue about and how do we resolve them. Then finally we come together to talk about the training we have been doing on our own. We have ten plus hours of training along with quizzes that we are doing on our own through this process. And that was it. Waaaay more internal stress than needed. But that's just me...a mess. I do think, however, that I had one too many smells going on for the home visit. I had this pretty strong Yankee candle that had been burning for half the day, I brewed some coffee and baked some hot gooey cookies for the visit. She didn't eat anything and by the time she left..I wanted to open the windows. Ha! Hope she didn't think I was trying to mask a bad smell with all those scents I had going on. Oh well....I'm sure she gets things like that all the time.
Through all this, we've been so blessed. The process has gone really smoothly despite my overly anxious tendencies in life. I'm SO blessed with a calm, cool and collected husband. We're growing a lot and God is really shaping us through this process to lean on Him and each other through everything which is absolutely what we will need when our little one gets here.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Miracles: Yard Sale Results!
Were miracles meant to be a temporary thing? When we read the old and new testaments of the bible, do we read about the miracles performed both by Jesus AND his apostles as things of the past? Do we read about the wonders of the Lord and think to ourselves, "Well that was nice...what about us?". The wedding feast at Cana, the multiplying of the loaves and fishes, Peter healing the lame man in the book of Acts? Can miracles like these happen today? I will tell you, I will never read about the signs and miracles of the Lord the same after this past weekend.
This weekend was a weekend that came with much anticipation. It was not only the weekend of our first big adoption yard sale fundraiser but also the weekend of our first son, Josiah's, second birthday. It was truly a weekend full of hope and sacrifice, much like we've found the christian life to be. I found myself wondering how Josiah is doing. He's two this year..he must be beginning to talk. I wondered about what his little voice sounds like, how his little waddle of a walk must look like. But between the thoughts and emotions of Josiah, I found myself busily getting ready for our big yard sale on Saturday along with our much anticipated home visit by our social worker the following Monday.
I had no idea what to expect from our yard sale, honestly. I knew we had a few donations here and some at my sister's house so at least we had something to sell. I knew that a few people said they would come out and I knew that our sweet family friend, Debbie Wilson, had put an ad in the local paper about our yard sale. So I was hopeful...but honestly, not as hopeful as I should have been. I realize now that my expectations of the Lord's provision was definitely on the...low end.
The days leading up to the yard sale, all I could utter in prayer was that the day would be filled with joy. That's it. I didn't pray for monetary success. I didn't ask for a specific monetary amount to be provided by the Lord. I asked for JOY.
As we arrived before dawn at my sister's house to set up on that cold saturday morning, we felt like the donations were literally multiplying (miracle one) as we pulled donations out of our cars and my sister's garage. The sun wasn't even up and people were already there waiting (miracle two), with flashlights in hand, to check out our "merchandise". A steady flow of joyful customers filled our day from 7am to 2pm. No joke...there wasn't one moment where we didn't have someone buying from us.
The day was filled with immense joy(miracle three). By a recommendation from a friend, we served hot coffee to everyone that came out to the yard sale whether they bought something or not, just to say thank you for coming out. This was a huge, huge hit! People loved the generosity. Honestly, who gives out free coffee with french vanilla creamer at a yard sale? It really warmed people up...literally. :) Smiles were all around. And on top of all the joy, we had some amazing discussions with complete strangers about the beauty of adoption! I personally had three people that I had never met learn that the yard sale was for our adoption, tell me that they were adopted! One lady came to our yard sale JUST to encourage us in our adoption. She had read the newspaper ad that this yard sale was for an adoption and she herself adopted her son over 20 years ago and wanted to come by just to talk with us and encourage us in our journey.
And lastly, a huge miracle happened. God provided for our adoption in a big way. The grand total of our simple yard sale was $2,300!!!! We had no idea how much God would provide through this and were blown away by the totals.
Who said God isn't alive and moving in our world today? Who said the miracles of the bible are a thing of the past? We. Saw. God. Move and we saw his people bless us in ways that we can hardly grasp. Tears streamed with joy all weekend long. At Mass, I could hardly contain my tears when thinking back over the joyous day, God blessed us with. We witnessed miracle after miracle this weekend and we are forever changed. God is faithful.
This weekend was a weekend that came with much anticipation. It was not only the weekend of our first big adoption yard sale fundraiser but also the weekend of our first son, Josiah's, second birthday. It was truly a weekend full of hope and sacrifice, much like we've found the christian life to be. I found myself wondering how Josiah is doing. He's two this year..he must be beginning to talk. I wondered about what his little voice sounds like, how his little waddle of a walk must look like. But between the thoughts and emotions of Josiah, I found myself busily getting ready for our big yard sale on Saturday along with our much anticipated home visit by our social worker the following Monday.
I had no idea what to expect from our yard sale, honestly. I knew we had a few donations here and some at my sister's house so at least we had something to sell. I knew that a few people said they would come out and I knew that our sweet family friend, Debbie Wilson, had put an ad in the local paper about our yard sale. So I was hopeful...but honestly, not as hopeful as I should have been. I realize now that my expectations of the Lord's provision was definitely on the...low end.
The days leading up to the yard sale, all I could utter in prayer was that the day would be filled with joy. That's it. I didn't pray for monetary success. I didn't ask for a specific monetary amount to be provided by the Lord. I asked for JOY.
As we arrived before dawn at my sister's house to set up on that cold saturday morning, we felt like the donations were literally multiplying (miracle one) as we pulled donations out of our cars and my sister's garage. The sun wasn't even up and people were already there waiting (miracle two), with flashlights in hand, to check out our "merchandise". A steady flow of joyful customers filled our day from 7am to 2pm. No joke...there wasn't one moment where we didn't have someone buying from us.
The day was filled with immense joy(miracle three). By a recommendation from a friend, we served hot coffee to everyone that came out to the yard sale whether they bought something or not, just to say thank you for coming out. This was a huge, huge hit! People loved the generosity. Honestly, who gives out free coffee with french vanilla creamer at a yard sale? It really warmed people up...literally. :) Smiles were all around. And on top of all the joy, we had some amazing discussions with complete strangers about the beauty of adoption! I personally had three people that I had never met learn that the yard sale was for our adoption, tell me that they were adopted! One lady came to our yard sale JUST to encourage us in our adoption. She had read the newspaper ad that this yard sale was for an adoption and she herself adopted her son over 20 years ago and wanted to come by just to talk with us and encourage us in our journey.
And lastly, a huge miracle happened. God provided for our adoption in a big way. The grand total of our simple yard sale was $2,300!!!! We had no idea how much God would provide through this and were blown away by the totals.
Who said God isn't alive and moving in our world today? Who said the miracles of the bible are a thing of the past? We. Saw. God. Move and we saw his people bless us in ways that we can hardly grasp. Tears streamed with joy all weekend long. At Mass, I could hardly contain my tears when thinking back over the joyous day, God blessed us with. We witnessed miracle after miracle this weekend and we are forever changed. God is faithful.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Battleground
Yesterday afternoon I had the opportunity to speak about our adoption journey at the 40 Days for Life closing rally at St. Gregory's. After running into the Virginia Beach 40 Days for Life campaign coordinator Marcia Hurley a couple weeks earlier, during our trip to Planned Parenthood, she asked if we would speak a little about our process and the beauty of adoption. Somewhat ironically, Kim had already committed to a baby shower that coincided with the time of the closing rally, so I attended solo, but accompanied by the prayers of my great wife (who happens to be the inspiration behind all my talks).
The closing rally consisted of recognizing the tremendous sacrifice and effort of numerous volunteers, acknowledging the many parishes filling time slots through the forty day period, and general celebration in the great work that God accomplished through this last campaign. But the bulk of the closing rally were two testimonies on adoption. Marcia stated that adoption had been on her heart, and I am unsure if this was before running into her or after, but regardless, props to the Holy Spirit!
For my talk, I shared a little about the perspective gained during the day of our Planned Parenthood visit, briefly our experience of adopting Josiah, then touched on the way Romans 8:15 has spoken to us and our view of the gospel, and last the deceptive nature of the phrase "pro-choice." The last piece was a result of a recent email that struck a chord with me. The national 40 Days for Life campaign director sends daily emails encouraging the local 40 Days for Life chapters with praise reports, scripture, and reflection. Day 36 contained a reflection that spoke about the cruel irony of that deceptive phrase "pro-choice." Most women with unplanned pregnancies don't get abortions because of freedom of choice, but rather because they feel they have no freedom and no choice. They often feel trapped, helpless, scared, and unsupported, with no other way to turn. Their "choice" is very limited, squeezed within the narrow confines of pressure, fear, uncertainty, and desperation. This is EXACTLY where 40 Days for Life steps in. This is exactly what the volunteers have been sacrificing their time and energy for during the last forty days. Providing a hand to the helpless, a light to those in fear, encouragement to those abandoned, and most importantly HOPE to the hopeless.
The men and women in that St. Gregory's room on Sunday afternoon are the true front-line soldiers for Truth and Hope. They are the dedicated prayer warriors that tred into brutal enemy territory. It is holy work that most people aren't willing to attempt. It is holy work that takes a toll on the mind, body, and heart. But the overwhelming sentiment illuminating the room from those courageous men and women was a bond that could not be broken by the lies and deception of the abortion industry. It is a bond unbreakable, because it is forged by their underlying unity in sacrifice and noble calling. I attended the closing rally thinking that I would be able to offer encouragement through my talk on our adoption process, but it was I who went away encouraged beyond expectation.
For me, the highlight of the afternoon was the other adoption testimony by a remarkable lady named Millie. Millie shared the story of how she had placed her child for adoption many years ago after being transformed from a pro-abortion mindset to one of adoption. God has since confirmed her decision in a million different ways...even sharing how the daughter she birthed has since gone on "to meet popes and presidents" (JPII and Bush), not to mention grown up to be a tennis star, IB student, and homecoming queen! Millie chose to give LIFE to her daughter and life to a family of adoptive parents. In our trip to Texas for our adoption orientation with Gladney, the session with birth mothers (that had or were going to place their child for adoption) clearly had the most impact on us and the rest of the attendees. Millie's own story only confirmed the selfless heroism that comes from a birth mother choosing life for her child and placing them for adoption. It truly was an inspirational story that once again demonstrated God's plan for life is more sacred than we can wrap our minds around.
Today's daily reflection from Pope Benedict XVI was on Christian life. He stated that Christian life is communal life. The Church as a source for communal life and support is often unfamiliar to many. However, a community that shares, celebrates, suffers, and prays together becomes a community of life. It becomes a beacon of light to a darkened world. It becomes a source of hope for the fearful and abandoned. As I listened to the pope's daily reflection, I could not help but think of the group at the closing rally. The volunteers of the 40 Days for Life are a perfect illustration of what communal life encompasses.
The battleground cliche is often overused. But the spiritual battleground that 40 Days for Life fights in is as real as it gets...because lives are literally on the line, with Planned Parenthood discarding humans into trashbags as medical waste. Working for life is not for the faint of heart; but working for life is sacred work. I encourage you to check out the Virginia Beach chapter or your own local chapter. The work of Marcia Hurley, Dan Hurley, Louantha Kerr, Cheri Britt, Deacon Bob, and the rest of the Life warriors is inspirational. Please, check it out, get involved, and support this holy ministry.
http://www.40daysforlife.com/virginiabeach/
The closing rally consisted of recognizing the tremendous sacrifice and effort of numerous volunteers, acknowledging the many parishes filling time slots through the forty day period, and general celebration in the great work that God accomplished through this last campaign. But the bulk of the closing rally were two testimonies on adoption. Marcia stated that adoption had been on her heart, and I am unsure if this was before running into her or after, but regardless, props to the Holy Spirit!
For my talk, I shared a little about the perspective gained during the day of our Planned Parenthood visit, briefly our experience of adopting Josiah, then touched on the way Romans 8:15 has spoken to us and our view of the gospel, and last the deceptive nature of the phrase "pro-choice." The last piece was a result of a recent email that struck a chord with me. The national 40 Days for Life campaign director sends daily emails encouraging the local 40 Days for Life chapters with praise reports, scripture, and reflection. Day 36 contained a reflection that spoke about the cruel irony of that deceptive phrase "pro-choice." Most women with unplanned pregnancies don't get abortions because of freedom of choice, but rather because they feel they have no freedom and no choice. They often feel trapped, helpless, scared, and unsupported, with no other way to turn. Their "choice" is very limited, squeezed within the narrow confines of pressure, fear, uncertainty, and desperation. This is EXACTLY where 40 Days for Life steps in. This is exactly what the volunteers have been sacrificing their time and energy for during the last forty days. Providing a hand to the helpless, a light to those in fear, encouragement to those abandoned, and most importantly HOPE to the hopeless.
The men and women in that St. Gregory's room on Sunday afternoon are the true front-line soldiers for Truth and Hope. They are the dedicated prayer warriors that tred into brutal enemy territory. It is holy work that most people aren't willing to attempt. It is holy work that takes a toll on the mind, body, and heart. But the overwhelming sentiment illuminating the room from those courageous men and women was a bond that could not be broken by the lies and deception of the abortion industry. It is a bond unbreakable, because it is forged by their underlying unity in sacrifice and noble calling. I attended the closing rally thinking that I would be able to offer encouragement through my talk on our adoption process, but it was I who went away encouraged beyond expectation.
For me, the highlight of the afternoon was the other adoption testimony by a remarkable lady named Millie. Millie shared the story of how she had placed her child for adoption many years ago after being transformed from a pro-abortion mindset to one of adoption. God has since confirmed her decision in a million different ways...even sharing how the daughter she birthed has since gone on "to meet popes and presidents" (JPII and Bush), not to mention grown up to be a tennis star, IB student, and homecoming queen! Millie chose to give LIFE to her daughter and life to a family of adoptive parents. In our trip to Texas for our adoption orientation with Gladney, the session with birth mothers (that had or were going to place their child for adoption) clearly had the most impact on us and the rest of the attendees. Millie's own story only confirmed the selfless heroism that comes from a birth mother choosing life for her child and placing them for adoption. It truly was an inspirational story that once again demonstrated God's plan for life is more sacred than we can wrap our minds around.
Today's daily reflection from Pope Benedict XVI was on Christian life. He stated that Christian life is communal life. The Church as a source for communal life and support is often unfamiliar to many. However, a community that shares, celebrates, suffers, and prays together becomes a community of life. It becomes a beacon of light to a darkened world. It becomes a source of hope for the fearful and abandoned. As I listened to the pope's daily reflection, I could not help but think of the group at the closing rally. The volunteers of the 40 Days for Life are a perfect illustration of what communal life encompasses.
The battleground cliche is often overused. But the spiritual battleground that 40 Days for Life fights in is as real as it gets...because lives are literally on the line, with Planned Parenthood discarding humans into trashbags as medical waste. Working for life is not for the faint of heart; but working for life is sacred work. I encourage you to check out the Virginia Beach chapter or your own local chapter. The work of Marcia Hurley, Dan Hurley, Louantha Kerr, Cheri Britt, Deacon Bob, and the rest of the Life warriors is inspirational. Please, check it out, get involved, and support this holy ministry.
http://www.40daysforlife.com/virginiabeach/
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Adoption Fundraiser THIS SATURDAY!!
My sweet, sweet sister-in-love, Christi, has written it best in her recent blog post, Be a Hero. You have the opportunity to be a hero in one child's life in a big, big way THIS Saturday! God asks each of us over and over to be a father to the fatherless, defender of widows in psalm 68:5. He goes on to say that He will place the lonely in families in the following verse. Whether you're able or feel called right now to adopt or not, there are ways you can be a father to the fatherless and help our Lord place orphans in families...particularly our family. :)
Please consider coming out to our yard sale this Saturday and purchasing some things for yourself or someone else! Some of the highlighted items we have available is a short board surf board, several night stands and end table, foosball table, tons of baby items including exersaucers, baby gates and packnplays, complete queen bed set with matching window treatments, towel and rug set for the bathroom, modern teal ceramic decorative vase (I almost wanted to steal this one, ask my husband!), wall art, handmade blank greeting cards donated by my friend, Karen Peterson, kitchen supplies, dark brown canvas accent chair that folds out to a bed, dressers, clothes for the older generation along with clothes from my closet and SO much more! Come check it out!
Thank you so much to all that have donated items for this yard sale. You have no idea how much it means to us. You may think it's a simple thing to do to clean out your closets and donate your unwanted things but your actions have beautiful and eternal consequences. The community support, both near and far, has shown us even more the awesome community that we have. We are SO excited to surround our future child with that kind of love and support.
If you can't make it out to the yard sale but would still like to support us in our adoption journey, please consider donating what you think you'd spend at our yard sale via our paypal account.
We love you and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
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