I decided to jot down some questions we've been asked since the announcing of our adoption. We love, love, love that so much dialogue has happened since we've told people of our desire and plan to adopt. Please continue to ask questions. We're learning in this process, too. Chances are we've had a lot more time and prayer put into shaping our hearts for adoption than you have, and we'd love to share our hearts with you.
Why are you adopting? Is it because you can't conceive?
Adoption, in no way, is a plan B for us. We've had the desire to adopt long before we realized that conception would be difficult for us. Financial fears held us back for a long, long time. Until we realized that God is able to do more than we can even ask or imagine. We believe deeply that a desire to be parents... was not, to simply, pass on our genes.
Why choose a domestic option rather than international? Aren't you afraid what happened with Josiah will happen again? Isn't international just safer...emotionally?
There are risks with any adoption, both international and domestic. We aren't afraid of birth mothers. In fact, we feel called to meet with courageous birth moms and be a witness to our love for each other and for the Lord through meeting with the mother of our child. With domestic adoption, yes, birth mothers can change their minds. With international adoptions you have countries and governments changing their mind. We have seen many friends wait for a child internationally for over two years only to have that country decide to close adoptions. Adoption both domestic and international is risky business...but so so worth it. We are completely open to adopting internationally in the future. But for now, domestic is where we feel most called.
Why did you choose and agency all the way in Texas? Aren't there ones closer?
Yes, there are. Plenty. But after talking with many people, researching agencies in VA and even attending some local orientations, we didn't feel those agencies had the professionalism and track record that we were looking for. Our agency has been doing adoptions for 125 years. We also know people who have used the agency and were thrilled with them. We also found it difficult to find an agency these days that don't offer "snowflake babies", or embryonic adoption. That's something that we don't morally agree with and don't want to support an agency that offers that.
Why not do a private adoption? Aren't they SO much cheaper?
I could probably answer this question with two words. Go here.
But I'll spare you the super long blog post. Yes, private adoptions are less expensive but we've been there and done that. For us, it was a difficult experience. When working with an agency (especially our agency in particular), proper counseling is provided to all involved along with them acting as the mediator in the adoption. We feel at peace with using an agency. We appreciate the many people who have offered their advice of putting an ad in the paper or going through a pastor who matches up birth moms with adoptive parents on their own but we just can't risk our hearts in that way again...at least, not right now.
Will you accept a baby who's mother took drugs?
In the land of adoption, there is no "perfect baby"...but we DO know that our baby will be perfect to us. We feel strongly that the Lord led these women to choose adoption, to choose life and that is so so amazing in a world that shoves abortion down the throats of vulnerable and scared women. We feel called to caring for children who need parents. period. We're not looking for a "perfect baby" or a "perfect birth mom". If we were, I personally don't think we'd be really ready to parent because having a perfect child on your hip like a super-cute-accessory isn't what God calls us to. He wants us to help bring babies to heaven, regardless if the babies have issues, drug related or not. We're open for what God wants for our lives. We're on a mission and sometimes you get dirty, being on the battlefield for souls.
Are you open to a child of another race?
Yes. In fact, we're signed up for that! When we began this adoption adventure, we were told by Gladney that there was a need. A need for couples to adopt children who are African American and/or Biracial. Matt and I have both always felt more than fine with loving a child of any race unconditionally....so, why not? We are in the African American and Biracial Child's program at Gladney and we couldn't be more thrilled. Josiah, the little boy we adopted but ended up having to give back was biracial. We instantly loved him to pieces and saw him as truly our son. Just as God sees each of us as His sons and daughters...regardless of race.
Those are just a few questions, for now, that I can think of. If you have any more, please feel free to ask! I'd love to address them to you personally OR on this blog. I also plan on going more in depth with some of these questions in future posts...so stay tuned! :)
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Baby Hamrick's Room
As if it weren't enough that this little child will be brought to us through a community that has helped provide the way for us to adopt and that he/she will be forever surrounded by that community, but our child's very ROOM will represent and forever be a reminder to him/her and Matthew and I, of the love our community has for our family. And most importantly, the amazing and perfect love the Lord has for our son or daughter.
I began pinteresting, pretty quickly, ideas for our nursery, once we were officially official, of course. We've had six plus years to look forward to this and an especially paperwork-type busy four months that we hadn't really had the time to stop and enjoy the little things of beginning a family like decorating the nursery! Not to mention the fact that I absolutely LOVE to decorate. It's kind of a passion/hobby, I guess.
Once I began pinteresting my ideas, blessings began to flow on completing our sweet nursery. I have had so many people offer to help make something for our sweet baby's room! My mother-in-love is making our entire crib bedding, curtains and even reupholstering our rocker and ottoman (that we got for an awesome price via craigslist! woot!). God bless that woman! My mom is knitting a blanket for us. My sister is painting us a picture for some wall decor and so is an old cheerleading friend, Allison, from high school that is an artist! We even have a blessed friend, Isaac, that has offered to hand make a wood table to sit beside my rocker. Incredible. We have friends that have offered an accent rug, the VERY rug I pinned on pinterest. Amazing. We have a beautiful cousin, Laura, that is going to hand make an owl mobile.
I just can't believe it. Literally, every piece of the nursery will have something made by someone that loves our little baby. I really feel like our baby's room will be a beautiful representation of all the love our community near and far has for our child. It will forever remind us that this community helped the Lord bring this child to us. It is a tangible reminder of God's providence. It will be beautiful and it will be so full of love.
So for the next several months (hopefully not too too long!), I will be DIY-ing or pinteresting lots of little touches like our nursery light fixture, etc. to keep me busy during this wait that I know will seem like forever to us. Keep us in prayer during the next year as we wait. Our anxious hearts will probably grow weary at times so your prayers and encouraging words will be appreciated. The adoption timeline is unknown which will only lead us to grasping onto the Lord for comfort, strength and faith. One of the most amazing aspects of adoption is the fact that it continually keeps your control freak factor in check since you simply have no control in adoption. It's kind of cool. It stretches you as a person. Okay, mark those words because I'm pretty sure six months from now, when we're still waiting, I'll take them back ;)
This journey is not nearly over. It has just begun. Can't wait to see how God is going to work. :)
I began pinteresting, pretty quickly, ideas for our nursery, once we were officially official, of course. We've had six plus years to look forward to this and an especially paperwork-type busy four months that we hadn't really had the time to stop and enjoy the little things of beginning a family like decorating the nursery! Not to mention the fact that I absolutely LOVE to decorate. It's kind of a passion/hobby, I guess.
Once I began pinteresting my ideas, blessings began to flow on completing our sweet nursery. I have had so many people offer to help make something for our sweet baby's room! My mother-in-love is making our entire crib bedding, curtains and even reupholstering our rocker and ottoman (that we got for an awesome price via craigslist! woot!). God bless that woman! My mom is knitting a blanket for us. My sister is painting us a picture for some wall decor and so is an old cheerleading friend, Allison, from high school that is an artist! We even have a blessed friend, Isaac, that has offered to hand make a wood table to sit beside my rocker. Incredible. We have friends that have offered an accent rug, the VERY rug I pinned on pinterest. Amazing. We have a beautiful cousin, Laura, that is going to hand make an owl mobile.
I just can't believe it. Literally, every piece of the nursery will have something made by someone that loves our little baby. I really feel like our baby's room will be a beautiful representation of all the love our community near and far has for our child. It will forever remind us that this community helped the Lord bring this child to us. It is a tangible reminder of God's providence. It will be beautiful and it will be so full of love.
So for the next several months (hopefully not too too long!), I will be DIY-ing or pinteresting lots of little touches like our nursery light fixture, etc. to keep me busy during this wait that I know will seem like forever to us. Keep us in prayer during the next year as we wait. Our anxious hearts will probably grow weary at times so your prayers and encouraging words will be appreciated. The adoption timeline is unknown which will only lead us to grasping onto the Lord for comfort, strength and faith. One of the most amazing aspects of adoption is the fact that it continually keeps your control freak factor in check since you simply have no control in adoption. It's kind of cool. It stretches you as a person. Okay, mark those words because I'm pretty sure six months from now, when we're still waiting, I'll take them back ;)
This journey is not nearly over. It has just begun. Can't wait to see how God is going to work. :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
Identity and Inheritance
An awesome video sermon about adoption given by a pastor at The Summit Church in North Carolina (our friend's, Matt and Catherine's, church). It's an awesome message about what the gospel says about adoption.
Enjoy. :)
Adoption: Identity and Inheritance
Enjoy. :)
Adoption: Identity and Inheritance
Fundraising Update
Yesterday was amazing. I can't even begin to describe the love that engulfed the New Creation Center yesterday for our Benefit Concert. We weren't quite sure how many tickets were sold prior to the event, maybe 70 or so. But I had heard that a few people couldn't make it and knew others might not be able to either because of the snow or other things. But people just kept coming..more chairs had to be put out and we hit our max for the event which was 100 people! We couldn't believe it. But the most lovely part of the whole thing was seeing faces, young and old, laughing and enjoying the moment.
Our uncle plays old time music in a band called The Company Store. But really, it's sort of a comedy where they bring the audience into the lives of these simple people from this simple town. And for two hours, people's worries and anxieties of every day life, are swept away with wholesome laughter and good music. There were lots of families there, with lots of little kids who danced in the aisles to the band's tunes. Even infants seemed to be encapsulated by the music. For a moment, it was hard to tell who's families were whose. Everyone was holding everyone else's kids. Pure joy, a sense of true community and fun filled that place yesterday. I know God was tickled pink to see his sons and daughters live.
Our uncle plays in a band...but really, it's more than that. It's a ministry.
Between the ticket sales and additional donations, once again our community blessed us far more than we could ask or imagine. We made $1,800 thanks to our uncle and his band, the New Creation Renewal Center, my mother-in-love for organizing, my family for baking cookies and the generosity of people who love us and love life. This amount was far more than we even imagined.
Through dealing with, coping with, somehow trying to remain faithful through infertility, I must admit that there were serious times of doubt of God's love for me and even His providence in my life. I couldn't understand why God wouldn't allow us to conceive. Why He wouldn't provide a child for us. Especially when it came so easily for my friends and family. I had some dark moments with the Lord over the past six years. But I see, so clearly, now, that He has wanted to provide for us. That He promised He would...but that it would look differently than I had originally expected. It would look different because He has a calling on our lives that is unique to us. He was waiting, patiently, for us to say, "Yes, Lord let it be done to me according to your will". And now it seems God is showing us over and over again that He is faithful and He provides.
It has been almost four months since we said yes to God and began our adoption journey. Four months...four months and He has provided ALL that we need for our adoption...no really, ALL that we need. We are fully funded. We have our adoption cost, travel cost, post placement cost, even our final adoption attorney fee. God not only provided but He did so, quickly, I believe, so that we can enjoy the coming months of anticipation and focus on preparing spiritually to become parents. He not only provides but He does so, perfectly.
Tears have filled our eyes so many times over the past few months as our eyes have been opened by the love the Lord has for us and the love our community has for us. Mostly, we are overwhelmed with joy that our little son or daughter will get the chance to truly know and experience God through each and every one of you.
Your support no matter how big or small, whether through financial means or through prayer has rocked our lives and will directly impact the life of a child. And our family's mission will go on to be a witness to what a culture of life looks like in our world.
From the deepest part of our hearts, thank you.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
We've Been Busy
We've been busy. So has God. So, it's officially official...we're official! Ha! No really, we have our home study, we're legit. Our agency has approved it and has approved us to adopt! We're double, legit. We have been assigned a caseworker and we've spoken with her a few times. She is awesome. This is another way God has moved. A few weeks ago when I was corresponding with the lady that was handling our application phase of the process, she had mentioned that once we were approved, we'd be assigned to a lady named Meagan that would be our caseworker. This was fine...but deep down I had really wanted this other caseworker that we met at orientation back in August. She gave the entire domestic adoption overview and we really really liked her. After all, she too has a dog named Bella. ;) But really, I wanted to request her but didn't want to cause waves especially since they were already going to assign us this other lady. Little did I know that God would hear my even unspoken desires and take care of it. A couple of weeks later we got an awesome email from the application lady congratulating us that we were approved to adopt, our approval packet was on the way and that our caseworker had been changed...TO the lady I wanted!!! She said that it was per her request because she had remembered us from orientation...how cool is that??!! There were twenty other couples there. That's pretty awesome.
A couple of days later, we got our first introductory call from our caseworker! If you don't know what a caseworker is in the adoption process...she's kind of a big deal. She is the one we will be talking with the most for the rest of the journey. She's the one that will give our book to birth mothers and match us with a birth mom. She's the one that will be giving us the call when we are finally matched! She's someone we have to really be comfortable with. And God provided. We couldn't be more thrilled or amazed at God's sovereignty amazing attention to the detail of our hearts. He's good.
We finished a HUGE step in the process this week. We finished the dreaded Profile Book...okay not dreaded but it was incredibly overwhelming for me. This is a twenty page shutterfly book that will have a huge part in a birth mom's selection of us. Seriously, how do you portray who you really are in a twenty page picture book? With lots of hard work with the husband...we finished it. Our caseworker reviewed/edited it and loved it. (whew!) It's ordered and even shipped off to Texas to our agency. Once they get it...we are officially waiting for a referral. Let me stop. Did I just say those words? We're waiting for a referral?? This is definitely a moment I have thought about for a long time.
Needless to say, the moment we were approved I began pinteresting nursery ideas. :) I've sort of waited six years to do this...so it's pretty exciting even though I could have potentially a year to plan this nursery (let's pray not!). Not to mention, I LOVE to decorate in general. We've done a lot of work over the last four months...applications, home study, profile book, etc. We're so ready for a little fun. I am pretty sure Matt thinks it's cute how I've begun to plan for the nursery. I'll post a little more on that later. It's definitely going to be a room of nothing but love to the little life that will fill it. I'm pretty excited. Our nursery is shaping up to be a beautiful depiction of a community of people loving on this little one...and that makes me oh so happy.
Though through all of this fun and excitement, there is a very real realization that Matt and I have this week that adoption does not come without loss. A child is, yes gaining a mother and father through adoption, but also losing a mother and father at the same time. A mother is losing a child...even if that is a choice she wants to and is ready to make. Real lives are involved. I, no doubt, will be thinking of my little one and his birth mother especially tomorrow as people march through the streets of D.C. peacefully asking for an end to legalized abortion. I am praying for our future birth mother and all mothers as they face difficult decisions. I pray they will choose life...and see the amazing beauty that comes with that decision either through mothering their child or choosing adoption. I pray that christian families would be open to discerning whether God wants adoption to be a part of their family plan. There is loss...but there is redemption and beauty through adoption.
A couple of days later, we got our first introductory call from our caseworker! If you don't know what a caseworker is in the adoption process...she's kind of a big deal. She is the one we will be talking with the most for the rest of the journey. She's the one that will give our book to birth mothers and match us with a birth mom. She's the one that will be giving us the call when we are finally matched! She's someone we have to really be comfortable with. And God provided. We couldn't be more thrilled or amazed at God's sovereignty amazing attention to the detail of our hearts. He's good.
We finished a HUGE step in the process this week. We finished the dreaded Profile Book...okay not dreaded but it was incredibly overwhelming for me. This is a twenty page shutterfly book that will have a huge part in a birth mom's selection of us. Seriously, how do you portray who you really are in a twenty page picture book? With lots of hard work with the husband...we finished it. Our caseworker reviewed/edited it and loved it. (whew!) It's ordered and even shipped off to Texas to our agency. Once they get it...we are officially waiting for a referral. Let me stop. Did I just say those words? We're waiting for a referral?? This is definitely a moment I have thought about for a long time.
Needless to say, the moment we were approved I began pinteresting nursery ideas. :) I've sort of waited six years to do this...so it's pretty exciting even though I could have potentially a year to plan this nursery (let's pray not!). Not to mention, I LOVE to decorate in general. We've done a lot of work over the last four months...applications, home study, profile book, etc. We're so ready for a little fun. I am pretty sure Matt thinks it's cute how I've begun to plan for the nursery. I'll post a little more on that later. It's definitely going to be a room of nothing but love to the little life that will fill it. I'm pretty excited. Our nursery is shaping up to be a beautiful depiction of a community of people loving on this little one...and that makes me oh so happy.
Though through all of this fun and excitement, there is a very real realization that Matt and I have this week that adoption does not come without loss. A child is, yes gaining a mother and father through adoption, but also losing a mother and father at the same time. A mother is losing a child...even if that is a choice she wants to and is ready to make. Real lives are involved. I, no doubt, will be thinking of my little one and his birth mother especially tomorrow as people march through the streets of D.C. peacefully asking for an end to legalized abortion. I am praying for our future birth mother and all mothers as they face difficult decisions. I pray they will choose life...and see the amazing beauty that comes with that decision either through mothering their child or choosing adoption. I pray that christian families would be open to discerning whether God wants adoption to be a part of their family plan. There is loss...but there is redemption and beauty through adoption.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Forever Home
Taking a moment to take the attention off our story and directing it towards our dear friends who have just recently been united with their daughter from Congo. Their story is amazing. It shows the glory of God and that living out His call isn't always the easy road. It's one of courageous perseverance and a surrendering of our will for His. It's about triumph over the evils of the world with God's amazing love story through the institution of the marriage covenant and family. The old testament is soaked with stories of families. God chooses to tell His salvation story through family. And this is just another way He is revealing His passionate desire for us...through the Allison family. We're blessed to know them. We're blessed by their authentic faith and passionate desire to know Jesus. Without them, we would not have had the courage to step out in faith to pursue our heart for adoption.
God is good. He is faithful. Watch Him work... Take Me Home
If you'd like to read more about their adoption story and how their adjusting to being a family of five, check out Catherine's blog. Allison Antics
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Christmas Miracles
I've been thinking for days on how to write this blog post. I knew that I needed to show God's amazing glory but have felt so so limited on being able to truly express how really incredible He is. We've been blown away in this adoption process and I have a feeling that's not going to end any time soon. All we said was a simple (and a bit scared!) "yes" to His will on adopting and God has ran with it ...for miles.
This Christmas, we've been given an incredible gift, a spiritual life change. We've truly witnessed and experienced first hand what Christmas really is. God sent his son for us...to live and die for us while we were/are in our transgressions. And He continues to forgive our sins today in the awesome sacrament of reconciliation. And you know what? It's FREE! No, really, it's free. I'll let that sink in.
It's free. There isn't a stinkin' thing you can do about it. Or make up for it. Just ask for forgiveness whole heartedly and freedom and forgiveness is yours. You're a new creation. It's grace!
And that's...humbling. This Christmas we've experienced the kind of love and generosity and provision from the Lord that is almost TOO much, too soon. Let me clarify that, we are incredibly thankful for God providing and loving on us and want it no other way. But, at least for me, in my humanity, I feel almost unworthy of all this goodness..I'm in complete and utter awe of how much God is loving me through this adoption process. I feel like I've tasted a tiny glimpse of heaven and how with being in the presence of Jesus (like all the time!) will completely envelope and overwhelm me. Yet, without the stain of sin in heaven, we'll be even more able and open to receive God's overwhelming love. Whoa. Although, I still DO feel like I'll feel overwhelmed by His love, even in heaven. Because, I mean, it's God!! :)
Experiencing God's unconditional love this Christmas all started out on Christmas morning where I opened a present that would unknowingly blow me away...yes, I received a Peyton Manning Broncos jersey from my brother and sister in law. :) Okay, but for real, on to even more awesomeness. Yes, there's more than Peyton bliss!
Every Christmas my family picks names out of a hat and we have a $50 cap on a present for the person you pick. It has really been great the last couple of years with growing families and budgets and also getting back to what Christmas is ultimately about, spending time with loved ones and thanking the Lord for them, rather than being consumed with too many presents. Well, this year, my family showed us in a deeper way than I think THEY even realized what Christmas is really about.
As my Grandmother opened the first gift of Christmas, she took out a check from the box that she opened. She said, "Oh look, it's a check! And it's made out to Matt and Kim." Wow, I thought that was so sweet for my Gram to ask for her gift from my aunt (who chose her name) to be a donation to us and our adoption. Little did I know, there was more...The next present was opened by another family member and it was the same thing...a check in a box made out to us for our adoption. At this point, my mind had finally put it together, especially as I looked up and saw a video camera glaring at me and a few dozen eyes staring at me with love. They had ALL chosen to not buy presents for each other...but to donate what they would have spent for Christmas to us...to our baby. I immediately broke down into tears. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for that kind of love. They then shoved ALL the presents towards us and we had to open each and every wrapped box that contained a check for us. It was humbling. It was overwhelming. We were undeserving. We were amazed. They showed Christ to us in ways they may never understand. They've played a part in deepening our faith. They've touched us eternally.
And most importantly what an amazing story to share with our child one day. To tell him or her of the love their family has for them and to share an example of Christ's free love and grace to us through that moment. This Christmas is truly having eternal and spiritual effects. You see, adoption, like I've said and am continuing to grasp even deeper, is WAY more than us "getting" a kid or fulfilling that "picture perfect" family: husband, house, kid, dog, etc. Adoption is not liked by the enemy because it has God's glorious and eternal effects on all those involved. It takes us outside of ourselves. It causes us to stretch in faith. And as we've witnessed, causes others to do the same along side with us. We've seen people give to us for our adoption from their hearts and faith. We know that giving to others outside of your normal tithe is not an easy thing in these tough economic times. But we see love, sacrifice and most importantly faith with each check that we receive. And there is no way we can thank people enough.
Speaking of God's free and beautiful gift. We received just a couple of days after Christmas another overwhelming example of Christ's love for us. We received in the mail a card that was congratulating us on our future baby. You know, like a baby shower card. And in it was a VERY substantial donation with several hundred dollar bills. But the card wasn't signed at all and there was no return address...talk about humbling! We both fell to our knees and cried when we received it. I think I remember looking at Matt with tear filled eyes and a squeaky voice saying, "honey, this is ridiculous!" Haha Sorry, that's just how I felt! We were in complete awe. It was just Christ's love poured out over and over to us this Christmas. But in our humanity, we were immediately "upset" that we didn't know WHO the generous giver was! Ever fiber in our being wanted to be able to somehow pay that person back by thanking them every day for life! But again, we couldn't. It was free, unconditional, generous love.
What in the world!?!?! God is amazing and so are the community of believers that surround us. This will forever be a Christmas to remember and I only wish that they keys on this computer weren't so stinkin' limiting on truly expressing how much this really touched us this Christmas. How joyful we are of the things to come in 2013 and how incredibly happy we feel to be bringing a child into this kind of overwhelming love. This kid isn't going to know what hit them! Pray for us as we continue on to the next steps in the process. We are finished with our home study and just waiting for the "official" approval from Gladney (any day now! eeek!!) Which means we'll officially be "waiting" for a referral, although this next part of the process is always the longest. Pray for us. Pray for our baby as he/she may already be conceived! Pray for the birth mother and father. Pray. :)
This Christmas, we've been given an incredible gift, a spiritual life change. We've truly witnessed and experienced first hand what Christmas really is. God sent his son for us...to live and die for us while we were/are in our transgressions. And He continues to forgive our sins today in the awesome sacrament of reconciliation. And you know what? It's FREE! No, really, it's free. I'll let that sink in.
It's free. There isn't a stinkin' thing you can do about it. Or make up for it. Just ask for forgiveness whole heartedly and freedom and forgiveness is yours. You're a new creation. It's grace!
And that's...humbling. This Christmas we've experienced the kind of love and generosity and provision from the Lord that is almost TOO much, too soon. Let me clarify that, we are incredibly thankful for God providing and loving on us and want it no other way. But, at least for me, in my humanity, I feel almost unworthy of all this goodness..I'm in complete and utter awe of how much God is loving me through this adoption process. I feel like I've tasted a tiny glimpse of heaven and how with being in the presence of Jesus (like all the time!) will completely envelope and overwhelm me. Yet, without the stain of sin in heaven, we'll be even more able and open to receive God's overwhelming love. Whoa. Although, I still DO feel like I'll feel overwhelmed by His love, even in heaven. Because, I mean, it's God!! :)
Experiencing God's unconditional love this Christmas all started out on Christmas morning where I opened a present that would unknowingly blow me away...yes, I received a Peyton Manning Broncos jersey from my brother and sister in law. :) Okay, but for real, on to even more awesomeness. Yes, there's more than Peyton bliss!
Every Christmas my family picks names out of a hat and we have a $50 cap on a present for the person you pick. It has really been great the last couple of years with growing families and budgets and also getting back to what Christmas is ultimately about, spending time with loved ones and thanking the Lord for them, rather than being consumed with too many presents. Well, this year, my family showed us in a deeper way than I think THEY even realized what Christmas is really about.
As my Grandmother opened the first gift of Christmas, she took out a check from the box that she opened. She said, "Oh look, it's a check! And it's made out to Matt and Kim." Wow, I thought that was so sweet for my Gram to ask for her gift from my aunt (who chose her name) to be a donation to us and our adoption. Little did I know, there was more...The next present was opened by another family member and it was the same thing...a check in a box made out to us for our adoption. At this point, my mind had finally put it together, especially as I looked up and saw a video camera glaring at me and a few dozen eyes staring at me with love. They had ALL chosen to not buy presents for each other...but to donate what they would have spent for Christmas to us...to our baby. I immediately broke down into tears. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for that kind of love. They then shoved ALL the presents towards us and we had to open each and every wrapped box that contained a check for us. It was humbling. It was overwhelming. We were undeserving. We were amazed. They showed Christ to us in ways they may never understand. They've played a part in deepening our faith. They've touched us eternally.
And most importantly what an amazing story to share with our child one day. To tell him or her of the love their family has for them and to share an example of Christ's free love and grace to us through that moment. This Christmas is truly having eternal and spiritual effects. You see, adoption, like I've said and am continuing to grasp even deeper, is WAY more than us "getting" a kid or fulfilling that "picture perfect" family: husband, house, kid, dog, etc. Adoption is not liked by the enemy because it has God's glorious and eternal effects on all those involved. It takes us outside of ourselves. It causes us to stretch in faith. And as we've witnessed, causes others to do the same along side with us. We've seen people give to us for our adoption from their hearts and faith. We know that giving to others outside of your normal tithe is not an easy thing in these tough economic times. But we see love, sacrifice and most importantly faith with each check that we receive. And there is no way we can thank people enough.
Speaking of God's free and beautiful gift. We received just a couple of days after Christmas another overwhelming example of Christ's love for us. We received in the mail a card that was congratulating us on our future baby. You know, like a baby shower card. And in it was a VERY substantial donation with several hundred dollar bills. But the card wasn't signed at all and there was no return address...talk about humbling! We both fell to our knees and cried when we received it. I think I remember looking at Matt with tear filled eyes and a squeaky voice saying, "honey, this is ridiculous!" Haha Sorry, that's just how I felt! We were in complete awe. It was just Christ's love poured out over and over to us this Christmas. But in our humanity, we were immediately "upset" that we didn't know WHO the generous giver was! Ever fiber in our being wanted to be able to somehow pay that person back by thanking them every day for life! But again, we couldn't. It was free, unconditional, generous love.
What in the world!?!?! God is amazing and so are the community of believers that surround us. This will forever be a Christmas to remember and I only wish that they keys on this computer weren't so stinkin' limiting on truly expressing how much this really touched us this Christmas. How joyful we are of the things to come in 2013 and how incredibly happy we feel to be bringing a child into this kind of overwhelming love. This kid isn't going to know what hit them! Pray for us as we continue on to the next steps in the process. We are finished with our home study and just waiting for the "official" approval from Gladney (any day now! eeek!!) Which means we'll officially be "waiting" for a referral, although this next part of the process is always the longest. Pray for us. Pray for our baby as he/she may already be conceived! Pray for the birth mother and father. Pray. :)
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