...Because that's what adoption is. A love story. Lately, I've had the incredible opportunity to begin dialogue with my future son's birth mother. We've been emailing daily through an email account we have set up through our agency. This has been an amazing experience for us. I know that this opportunity may look very different for different people who are matched up with different birth moms but our experience has been a truly unique blessing to us. Before we began this process, we would have never guessed that we would have developed such a relationship with the mother of our child. Of course, we had hope that we'd get the opportunity to meet her and to talk with her but we never expected something quite like this. Our daily emails to each other read like love letters to our son from two women that love him with an indescribable love. The emails are something Matt and I will absolutely share with our son when he is older.
You can only imagine what talking with your child's birth mother is like. It's a bit scary at times. I'm always afraid I am going to say something wrong or maybe show how excited I am and that will sadden her. But our child's birth mother and I have been able to talk through each other's feelings and fears and we share in each other's joy of this whole process. God has SO blessed us and protected us by matching us up with this amazing women who really knows what God wants for her son's life and she is confident in her choice to place her child for adoption. Corresponding with us and knowing how we feel and how we're preparing for the little man only reinforces her decision that we are the right adoptive parents for him.
Our number one prayer when we started this adoption process last October was that our child and his birth parents would come to know and love Jesus. That was our biggest prayer. The prayer that trumped any and all of our other prayers through the process. I believe that God has already begun to answer that prayer. Our birth mother this week shared her testimony and revealed to us that through this pregnancy and through this adoption, she has become a believer when she wasn't before. She attends church and a weekly bible study. How amazing is that?! She is who we have been praying for all this time and God has answered that prayer.
Her faith and her love for her son only inspires me to be a mother that loves selflessly and that cherishes this precious gift forever. Getting to know her has changed me..for the better.
In two weeks we will travel to Texas to meet her and I really believe we will hug like old friends by then. I am so excited to talk with her face to face and to be SO close to the son God has chosen for us. Time is creeping too slowly for all of us. Pray for all of us as the time draws near where a mother's selfless love will change for good the lives of so, so many.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Adoption: "Not for the Wimps of Heart"
I was reminded the other night by my dear friend, Catherine, who has also adopted that a.) adoption is not for the wimps of heart and b.) hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful (Hebrews 10:23).
In adoption, things can change in a New York minute. There is no guarantee until we're heading home on the plane with our baby in our arms. Hence, adoption is not for wimps. I'm giving you the play by play of adoption. The good with the bad, the awesome with the not-so-awesome moments. It's not just a sweet fairy tale that we can happily blog through. Sometimes these stories do not end in happily ever after...sometimes they do, it's just a bumpy ride getting there. Adoption is dealing with real people who are going through a very difficult things.
Daily in this process we are falling more and more in love with a child we haven't met yet. It's almost impossible not to! We have to let our hearts "go there" even if it means heartbreak. God, the Father, goes there with us daily. He gives us our all. He loves us deeply and unconditionally, even before we ourselves call him Father.
I may not be providing minute by minute blog posts about the next couple of months of the process. The next post I write may be a little synopsis of our visit with the birth mother.
In the meantime, we're continually in communication with the agency and the birth mother, getting our home ready for a little one and helplessly falling in love with someone we haven't met yet. Which is all very awesome but can be extremely stressful at the same time. Give us grace and prayer please!
PLEASE keep us in prayer through this. Keep the birth father, the birth mother and their families in prayer that they would continue to make the right decisions for the baby. Most importantly, pray that the birth parents and the baby would come to know Jesus, in a real way, through this adoption.
Pray that Matt and I would make wise decisions in the final stages of this process. That we'd have peace and most importantly, that we'd have faith in our mighty God that is totally at work in all of this. And lastly, for protection from the evil one, for all.
In adoption, things can change in a New York minute. There is no guarantee until we're heading home on the plane with our baby in our arms. Hence, adoption is not for wimps. I'm giving you the play by play of adoption. The good with the bad, the awesome with the not-so-awesome moments. It's not just a sweet fairy tale that we can happily blog through. Sometimes these stories do not end in happily ever after...sometimes they do, it's just a bumpy ride getting there. Adoption is dealing with real people who are going through a very difficult things.
Daily in this process we are falling more and more in love with a child we haven't met yet. It's almost impossible not to! We have to let our hearts "go there" even if it means heartbreak. God, the Father, goes there with us daily. He gives us our all. He loves us deeply and unconditionally, even before we ourselves call him Father.
I may not be providing minute by minute blog posts about the next couple of months of the process. The next post I write may be a little synopsis of our visit with the birth mother.
In the meantime, we're continually in communication with the agency and the birth mother, getting our home ready for a little one and helplessly falling in love with someone we haven't met yet. Which is all very awesome but can be extremely stressful at the same time. Give us grace and prayer please!
PLEASE keep us in prayer through this. Keep the birth father, the birth mother and their families in prayer that they would continue to make the right decisions for the baby. Most importantly, pray that the birth parents and the baby would come to know Jesus, in a real way, through this adoption.
Pray that Matt and I would make wise decisions in the final stages of this process. That we'd have peace and most importantly, that we'd have faith in our mighty God that is totally at work in all of this. And lastly, for protection from the evil one, for all.
"Faith is no refuge for the fainthearted,
but something which enhances our lives.
It makes us aware of a magnificent calling,
the vocation of love.” - Pope Francis (Lumen Fidei, 53)
Monday, July 22, 2013
Next Steps
Things have slowed down a little since we received the amazing news that we're matched with a birth mother! So I thought I'd give you all a little update on all that has happened since. My goal with this blog is to first, bring glory to God because he does amazing things when we trust in Him, second, share the domestic infant adoption journey with everyone, step by step, so people have a pretty good idea of the process from the adoptive parent end. I'd love for this blog to bring awareness so that families will begin to naturally discern adoption for their family. There are a lot of amazing children that need Christian homes and as I always say, when you step into the adoption journey, God rocks your socks off and blows you away with His faithfulness in a way you may never get to experience otherwise. I also hope that this particular post will help break the stereotype that is often placed on birthmothers and fathers.
I want to tell you a little about our birth mother, without going into too much detail to respect my child's birth mother and my child. Just a few days after the awesome call from our caseworker telling us we were matched, our caseworker called us to give us, in more detail, the "stats" of our birth mother and father. This is somewhat of a scary part for adoptive parents in the matching process. You really have NO idea WHO you will be matched up with...well to an extent. In the application process you have the opportunity to check the boxes of the types of things/situations you are okay being matched with. We were not too picky on our application meaning we were open to accepting a lot because, well let's face it, we're probably at this point in our lives, not going to field a baseball team with kids (not to put limits on God!) so we felt that as a family, we could maybe handle a little more if that's what the Lord willed for our family. We also felt strongly that all children deserve not only life, but a good life and good parents, no matter their disability or in utero circumstances that may affect them. This part of the process takes quite a bit of discernment, though, I warn you.
So when we got the stats, we learned that our birthmother was not the strung out on drugs stereotype that most would categorize birth mothers to be. She is an honors student in college and so is the birth father. The birthfather even plays college football! You better believe Matt is super stoked about that part! :) A few days after getting all the information from our agency on our birth parents, down to their height and weight (I know, right!? Crazy), we actually had a phone conversation scheduled with our birthmother. So we set up a google voice number so that she didn't actually have our phone number, in oder to keep privacy. This is typical with our particular agency. The really try to allow birth parents and adoptive parents to build somewhat of a relationship over the course of the last trimester. It's healthy for birth moms and gives them strength and assurance in their decision by really getting the chance to get to know the adoptive parents.
We were pretty terrified of the conversation leading up to it. We prayed, a LOT but we just didn't know how the conversation would go or if we'd get a scared and unsure teenager on the other end and how we'd be able to handle that. It turned out that we or I, really, was the scared voice on the other end of the phone. She is a strong, confident, smart, beautiful christian who led the entire conversation. She had questions and topics prepared to discuss. She encouraged us. She is amazing. The three of us talked for an hour and there was nothing but complete joy from both ends of the phone. It was the most blessed conversation we could have imagined. And the best part?? No awkward lulls in the conversation, thank you sweet baby Jesus.
One of the biggest and most amazing things we learned was that she is adopted, herself! She was adopted as an infant so she completely gets adoption. She understand the risk we're taking as adoptive parents and how we're really placing our hearts and lives in her hands over the next couple of months. She also has a clear picture of the type of adoption she wants and feels is best for all involved. She wants a semi open adoption, meaning we will exchange pictures and letters through the agency. Her family exchanged pictures and letters with her birthmother and she saw the confidence it gave her as she grew to know where/who she came from. But she also understands that communication other than that would not be a good idea. This is exactly what we wanted and hoped for! We want to be able to tell our child that he was placed for adoption because his birthmother loved him and knew he needed a father and a mother that could raise him and love him, well.
The other amazing thing we discovered talking with her is that she is a Christian. Before she could even choose a family (before her third trimester), she found our profile on the Gladney online profile site and she just "knew that we were the parents of her baby". So for three months her and her family prayed we'd still be available when the time came that she could choose. Three months, people. Three months she has been praying specifically for us. That blew my mind and still does.
She's a beautiful woman making an amazing choice for her child. She's putting her child above her own wants. Some people view adoption as the opposite which is not true. She first chose life when she had an unplanned pregnancy and then discerned and chose adoption, knowing her child could be given an amazing life with both a father and a mother in his life. She chose adoption because she was intimately familiar with it because her mother had chosen the same road. A culture of life has trickled down the generations in her family because adoption was the option when unplanned pregnancies happened. Adoption gives life to so many. We've witnessed that communities rise up to embrace adoptive parents and the children placed for adoption, both prayerfully and even financially. We've witnessed our birth mothers be encouraged and embraced by adoptive parents (us) through this process, hopefully giving them peace and inner healing through this difficult choice rather than shame they may feel. We'll see a child who will be blown away that his birth mother emulated Christ's love for him in choosing true life in a culture that's fighting against a child's right to life. Like Christ, choosing life for her child isn't by any means the easy road. In fact, it's the road less traveled these days. But her courage and love will spread like a wild fire for generations to come in our family and hers.
So the next steps for us? We're traveling to Texas to meet with our caseworkers and our birth mother on Aug 8th. We'll have a lunch and who knows what we'll talk about. But we feel SO much better about meeting her after talking with her on the phone and after exchanging a few emails back and forth. I'm also so excited to be that close in proximity to our baby! So cool!
Prayer requests? Pray for our birthmother, that she stays firm and continues to feel the peace of the Lord in her life and in her decision. Pray for our child, keep him safe and healthy and at peace in her womb as well. Pray for us as we wait these 50-some days. Yes, that is SO close BUT for an adoptive parent SO far. I had a freak out moment last night to Matt. It literally sometimes feels like I am blind folded and jumping off a bridge and the only thing I can do is trust in God. That freakin' scares me!! There is absolutely nothing in my control. And this isn't just any old thing we're dealing with here. We're talking about our child, our family. Something we've longed for for so many years. The unknown and anticipation really scares me. I just want it to get here so I KNOW that things have worked out well for us and that we're flying back to VA with our baby in hand. I'm clinging to Jesus most days around here. So prayers are SO greatly appreciated.
Feeling a lot like Peter lately, somedays I'm walking on water and other days I feel like I'm sinking:
I want to tell you a little about our birth mother, without going into too much detail to respect my child's birth mother and my child. Just a few days after the awesome call from our caseworker telling us we were matched, our caseworker called us to give us, in more detail, the "stats" of our birth mother and father. This is somewhat of a scary part for adoptive parents in the matching process. You really have NO idea WHO you will be matched up with...well to an extent. In the application process you have the opportunity to check the boxes of the types of things/situations you are okay being matched with. We were not too picky on our application meaning we were open to accepting a lot because, well let's face it, we're probably at this point in our lives, not going to field a baseball team with kids (not to put limits on God!) so we felt that as a family, we could maybe handle a little more if that's what the Lord willed for our family. We also felt strongly that all children deserve not only life, but a good life and good parents, no matter their disability or in utero circumstances that may affect them. This part of the process takes quite a bit of discernment, though, I warn you.
So when we got the stats, we learned that our birthmother was not the strung out on drugs stereotype that most would categorize birth mothers to be. She is an honors student in college and so is the birth father. The birthfather even plays college football! You better believe Matt is super stoked about that part! :) A few days after getting all the information from our agency on our birth parents, down to their height and weight (I know, right!? Crazy), we actually had a phone conversation scheduled with our birthmother. So we set up a google voice number so that she didn't actually have our phone number, in oder to keep privacy. This is typical with our particular agency. The really try to allow birth parents and adoptive parents to build somewhat of a relationship over the course of the last trimester. It's healthy for birth moms and gives them strength and assurance in their decision by really getting the chance to get to know the adoptive parents.
We were pretty terrified of the conversation leading up to it. We prayed, a LOT but we just didn't know how the conversation would go or if we'd get a scared and unsure teenager on the other end and how we'd be able to handle that. It turned out that we or I, really, was the scared voice on the other end of the phone. She is a strong, confident, smart, beautiful christian who led the entire conversation. She had questions and topics prepared to discuss. She encouraged us. She is amazing. The three of us talked for an hour and there was nothing but complete joy from both ends of the phone. It was the most blessed conversation we could have imagined. And the best part?? No awkward lulls in the conversation, thank you sweet baby Jesus.
One of the biggest and most amazing things we learned was that she is adopted, herself! She was adopted as an infant so she completely gets adoption. She understand the risk we're taking as adoptive parents and how we're really placing our hearts and lives in her hands over the next couple of months. She also has a clear picture of the type of adoption she wants and feels is best for all involved. She wants a semi open adoption, meaning we will exchange pictures and letters through the agency. Her family exchanged pictures and letters with her birthmother and she saw the confidence it gave her as she grew to know where/who she came from. But she also understands that communication other than that would not be a good idea. This is exactly what we wanted and hoped for! We want to be able to tell our child that he was placed for adoption because his birthmother loved him and knew he needed a father and a mother that could raise him and love him, well.
The other amazing thing we discovered talking with her is that she is a Christian. Before she could even choose a family (before her third trimester), she found our profile on the Gladney online profile site and she just "knew that we were the parents of her baby". So for three months her and her family prayed we'd still be available when the time came that she could choose. Three months, people. Three months she has been praying specifically for us. That blew my mind and still does.
She's a beautiful woman making an amazing choice for her child. She's putting her child above her own wants. Some people view adoption as the opposite which is not true. She first chose life when she had an unplanned pregnancy and then discerned and chose adoption, knowing her child could be given an amazing life with both a father and a mother in his life. She chose adoption because she was intimately familiar with it because her mother had chosen the same road. A culture of life has trickled down the generations in her family because adoption was the option when unplanned pregnancies happened. Adoption gives life to so many. We've witnessed that communities rise up to embrace adoptive parents and the children placed for adoption, both prayerfully and even financially. We've witnessed our birth mothers be encouraged and embraced by adoptive parents (us) through this process, hopefully giving them peace and inner healing through this difficult choice rather than shame they may feel. We'll see a child who will be blown away that his birth mother emulated Christ's love for him in choosing true life in a culture that's fighting against a child's right to life. Like Christ, choosing life for her child isn't by any means the easy road. In fact, it's the road less traveled these days. But her courage and love will spread like a wild fire for generations to come in our family and hers.
So the next steps for us? We're traveling to Texas to meet with our caseworkers and our birth mother on Aug 8th. We'll have a lunch and who knows what we'll talk about. But we feel SO much better about meeting her after talking with her on the phone and after exchanging a few emails back and forth. I'm also so excited to be that close in proximity to our baby! So cool!
Prayer requests? Pray for our birthmother, that she stays firm and continues to feel the peace of the Lord in her life and in her decision. Pray for our child, keep him safe and healthy and at peace in her womb as well. Pray for us as we wait these 50-some days. Yes, that is SO close BUT for an adoptive parent SO far. I had a freak out moment last night to Matt. It literally sometimes feels like I am blind folded and jumping off a bridge and the only thing I can do is trust in God. That freakin' scares me!! There is absolutely nothing in my control. And this isn't just any old thing we're dealing with here. We're talking about our child, our family. Something we've longed for for so many years. The unknown and anticipation really scares me. I just want it to get here so I KNOW that things have worked out well for us and that we're flying back to VA with our baby in hand. I'm clinging to Jesus most days around here. So prayers are SO greatly appreciated.
Feeling a lot like Peter lately, somedays I'm walking on water and other days I feel like I'm sinking:
"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
-Matthew 14
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Prayer Warriors, Near and Far
We have had SO many people tell us how much they are praying for us through this adoption process. It's amazing to see the body of Christ rise up. We're forever changed and our faith is forever strengthened through the experiences God has given us in this adoption journey. That is really a BIG reason we encourage everyone to prayerfully consider adoption for their family, whether you are fertile or infertile. God moves in adoption. You see Him so clearly ACT in big ways when you choose adoption for your family. It's incredibly amazing and faith altering for all involved. We love so much that people are praying for us. That people are talking to the Father for us. That fills our hearts so much.
This week we were given this email from a sweet friend of a our sister in law. It broke our hearts but in a divinely sweet way! Who knew that there was someone that we're not super close with, relationship-wise, praying SO fervently for us and our adoption. Less than two weeks before we were matched, Michelle, got married...in IRELAND and had our adoption on her heart....LITERALLY. Read the email she sent the day after her wedding.
Kim and Matt,
Just wanted to send along a very special message to you from Dublin, Ireland on this 23rd of June, 2013, the day after our wedding. Only a few days ago, Maolsheachlann (my new husband) and I found ourselves writing intercessions for our Nuptial Mass. We thought and thought for ages about all of the people we wanted to pray for, and for all of the causes and circumstances and situations we wanted to prayerfully remember on our special day. It took ages to consolidate all of it into something that could be read without adding an hour to the Mass! J
You might not realize that Dublin has been a whirlwind of abortion legislation recently, with the first ever legislation on the table to allow abortion now. We certainly wanted to keep that in our very vocal prayers. We also knew that getting married at a public shrine – The Shrine to St. Valentine – could attract hundreds of people we didn’t know, so we wanted to be very careful and purposeful as we expressed our prayers with our family, friends, and so many strangers! All this is to say:
I am very happy to share that your most fervent adoption intentions were among those that we offered up during our Mass. We were married on the Feast of St. Thomas More, who as you may already know is the patron saint of adoptions. Can’t hurt to add a sacrament and a Patron Saint to your intention, right?? J I wrote the intention on a little paper heart and tied a blue ribbon to it and pinned it to the inside of my dress so that it rested on my heart. It was my something blue. As I made my vows to love, honor, and cherish my husband and lovingly accept children, I asked God to answer your prayers for children before my own. Just wanted you to know that you were a part of our day in a special way and that there were prayers lifted up for you on June 22, 2013 from the Whitefriar Carmelite Street Church at 4:56 pm, 56 Aungier Street, Dublin, Ireland.
I hope that God blesses you abundantly and that you might keep me and my new family in your prayers as you wait for your Good News.
Love,
Mr. and Mrs. O Ceallaigh
God and His body are SO incredibly good. We're humbled beyond belief by the powerful prayer warriors that surround us and our son. We are seriously keeping a box of all the amazing letters, notes, cards, miracles that have happened in this process, to one day show our son who incredibly loved he was/is even before people had ever met him.
This week we were given this email from a sweet friend of a our sister in law. It broke our hearts but in a divinely sweet way! Who knew that there was someone that we're not super close with, relationship-wise, praying SO fervently for us and our adoption. Less than two weeks before we were matched, Michelle, got married...in IRELAND and had our adoption on her heart....LITERALLY. Read the email she sent the day after her wedding.
Kim and Matt,
Just wanted to send along a very special message to you from Dublin, Ireland on this 23rd of June, 2013, the day after our wedding. Only a few days ago, Maolsheachlann (my new husband) and I found ourselves writing intercessions for our Nuptial Mass. We thought and thought for ages about all of the people we wanted to pray for, and for all of the causes and circumstances and situations we wanted to prayerfully remember on our special day. It took ages to consolidate all of it into something that could be read without adding an hour to the Mass! J
You might not realize that Dublin has been a whirlwind of abortion legislation recently, with the first ever legislation on the table to allow abortion now. We certainly wanted to keep that in our very vocal prayers. We also knew that getting married at a public shrine – The Shrine to St. Valentine – could attract hundreds of people we didn’t know, so we wanted to be very careful and purposeful as we expressed our prayers with our family, friends, and so many strangers! All this is to say:
I am very happy to share that your most fervent adoption intentions were among those that we offered up during our Mass. We were married on the Feast of St. Thomas More, who as you may already know is the patron saint of adoptions. Can’t hurt to add a sacrament and a Patron Saint to your intention, right?? J I wrote the intention on a little paper heart and tied a blue ribbon to it and pinned it to the inside of my dress so that it rested on my heart. It was my something blue. As I made my vows to love, honor, and cherish my husband and lovingly accept children, I asked God to answer your prayers for children before my own. Just wanted you to know that you were a part of our day in a special way and that there were prayers lifted up for you on June 22, 2013 from the Whitefriar Carmelite Street Church at 4:56 pm, 56 Aungier Street, Dublin, Ireland.
I hope that God blesses you abundantly and that you might keep me and my new family in your prayers as you wait for your Good News.
Love,
Mr. and Mrs. O Ceallaigh
God and His body are SO incredibly good. We're humbled beyond belief by the powerful prayer warriors that surround us and our son. We are seriously keeping a box of all the amazing letters, notes, cards, miracles that have happened in this process, to one day show our son who incredibly loved he was/is even before people had ever met him.
Michelle and Maolsheachlann, you are beautiful. You're vocation has already begun to touch people's lives and point them toward Jesus by the way your hearts have entered into that covenant, prayerfully for other's needs above your own. The world is watching christian marriages. The world will be changed radically by yours.
Real Parenthood
What an amazing whirlwind it has been since we got the call from our caseworker that we have been picked by a birth mother. We spent the rest of that week, well, I spent the rest of that week having random moments of uncontrollable tears of joy. It has been beautiful.
The following Monday, our caseworker called us to give us all the details and medical history about the birth mother and father and extended family that she had. SO glad she didn't try to give me all that info. at the Pirates game. Ha! I was just so overwhelmed with joy that my brain could only process one thing, we're matched.
After telling me all the information she had, she asked, "So can I tell the birth mother and her caseworker it's official?" "Oh it's official, it has been official since the moment you called us on July 4th", I said. :)
When we signed up with the adoption agency, we signed up to be parents. Period. There isn't anything this child could or couldn't be that would make us hesitant to embrace him as our son. Some may even wonder if shouting from the roof tops that we're having a baby or decorating a nursery before we actually hold this baby in our arms and can claim him legally is a good idea, especially after losing a child through a failed adoption once before. We made the decision to love and pray for and embrace this little boy like he is our own from the moment we're matched. Why not? We've already experienced the pain of losing a child once. We know what that feels like. It hurts, a lot. But there is one thing we NEVER regretted and that was embracing Josiah as our son fully from the beginning. It's almost like being pregnant. You never know if you'll miscarry at any moment in the pregnancy. Miscarriages happen a lot. And they are so incredibly painful at any stage in the pregnancy. But there was a child in your womb that God put in your life if only for a short period of time. Being a parent isn't contractual. There is no guarantee that you won't get hurt. And there is no guarantee that you'll reap any benefits of raising a child. There IS pain and there IS suffering as a parent. Think of God the Father and him losing His son, rather yet, offering up His only Son for people that take or leave His death and resurrection every single day. That's got to hurt. But He did it anyway. Because He's a Father who fully embraces parenthood and loves His children, unconditionally, whether they are technically His or not yet.
But don't get me wrong, I'm scared. There are moments when I wonder if this will turn out much like before and our son's birth mother will, in the end, decide to parent her child. I even had a dream or nightmare really, just last night that the birth father actually decided on the day of the birth, to parent. It was a really bad dream and I am expecting to have many more dreams and rough nights of sleep these next two months. There are obviously still wounds from before that are coming through that I need healing from. I need to TRUST fully in Jesus that we are going through this right now for a purpose and that God's purpose for my life is far greater than any of my plans and hopes.
So, we embrace you, our sweet son. We're waiting for you. We can't wait to meet you. To see your face for the first time. To whisper in your ear every single day how incredibly love you are. And how there is nothing you can ever do to change our unwavering love for you.
The following Monday, our caseworker called us to give us all the details and medical history about the birth mother and father and extended family that she had. SO glad she didn't try to give me all that info. at the Pirates game. Ha! I was just so overwhelmed with joy that my brain could only process one thing, we're matched.
After telling me all the information she had, she asked, "So can I tell the birth mother and her caseworker it's official?" "Oh it's official, it has been official since the moment you called us on July 4th", I said. :)
When we signed up with the adoption agency, we signed up to be parents. Period. There isn't anything this child could or couldn't be that would make us hesitant to embrace him as our son. Some may even wonder if shouting from the roof tops that we're having a baby or decorating a nursery before we actually hold this baby in our arms and can claim him legally is a good idea, especially after losing a child through a failed adoption once before. We made the decision to love and pray for and embrace this little boy like he is our own from the moment we're matched. Why not? We've already experienced the pain of losing a child once. We know what that feels like. It hurts, a lot. But there is one thing we NEVER regretted and that was embracing Josiah as our son fully from the beginning. It's almost like being pregnant. You never know if you'll miscarry at any moment in the pregnancy. Miscarriages happen a lot. And they are so incredibly painful at any stage in the pregnancy. But there was a child in your womb that God put in your life if only for a short period of time. Being a parent isn't contractual. There is no guarantee that you won't get hurt. And there is no guarantee that you'll reap any benefits of raising a child. There IS pain and there IS suffering as a parent. Think of God the Father and him losing His son, rather yet, offering up His only Son for people that take or leave His death and resurrection every single day. That's got to hurt. But He did it anyway. Because He's a Father who fully embraces parenthood and loves His children, unconditionally, whether they are technically His or not yet.
But don't get me wrong, I'm scared. There are moments when I wonder if this will turn out much like before and our son's birth mother will, in the end, decide to parent her child. I even had a dream or nightmare really, just last night that the birth father actually decided on the day of the birth, to parent. It was a really bad dream and I am expecting to have many more dreams and rough nights of sleep these next two months. There are obviously still wounds from before that are coming through that I need healing from. I need to TRUST fully in Jesus that we are going through this right now for a purpose and that God's purpose for my life is far greater than any of my plans and hopes.
So, we embrace you, our sweet son. We're waiting for you. We can't wait to meet you. To see your face for the first time. To whisper in your ear every single day how incredibly love you are. And how there is nothing you can ever do to change our unwavering love for you.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
This is one of the best blog posts I've ever written!! We've been matched!!!! A birth mother has chosen us and we're expecting a baby mid September!
I've thought about the day I would get "the call" from our caseworker for months. What would I be doing? Would Matt be with me? Well, God had a really, really cool way to give us the news. Over the fourth of July holiday, Matt and I and a bunch of our closest friends from VB and all of our siblings were in Pittsburgh for our good friends, Jamie and Tiffany's, wedding. Part of the wedding festivities that weekend was to go to a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game on the fourth of July. Matt was pumped beyond belief. He kept telling me that this was not just a baseball game but a Major League Baseball game. I had never been to an MLB game before. And Matt's favorite sport of all time is baseball. It's the closest to his heart because he played it all his life.
I'm sure Matt could beef up this part of the story better but I'll give it a try. It was the top of the sixth inning. The Pirates were making a comeback when I happened to look down at my phone that I was holding and saw it ringing. It was pretty loud in the stands to hearing it ring wouldn't have been possible. We were traveling with our sweet dog Bella and she was back at the hotel. The hotel always asks us to leave a phone number with them incase she barks too much. They would ask us to come pick her up. So getting a call in the middle of the game meant one thing in our minds, "oh Bella!"
But I noticed the area code (817) and knew that it could have been a Texas number. That's where our agency is located. But just weeks before, I was out to dinner with my good friend Tamice and thought our agency was calling because of the area code but it wasn't 817. It was 877. Boo. SO this time, I looked at it twice. IT WAS Texas!! But no need to get my hopes up prematurely, the agency calls sometimes with questions or to just check in. Yes, ALL of this ran through my head in the three seconds I stared at the number before answering.
So I answered and through the noise of the baseball game, I heard our caseworker say, "Kim, I have good news!!!". It was then that I thought to myself, "This is it. This is the call we had been longing for for months!" So I quickly tapped Matt on the leg, three times fast. He was busy watching the game. Ha! Matt immediately thought to himself, " Oh man, Bella! We're going to have to leave the game and pick her up from the hotel because she's barking, man!" He looked at me and said, "Bella?". I mouthed the words back, "It's Gladney!!" I started crying instantly and he knew this was NOT a call from our hotel about our dog. Haha! Our caseworker began giving us a run down of the information on the birth mother and baby. It was a lot of information, I was crying and it was pretty loud in the stands of a Major League Baseball game but I managed to remember a few key details to tell our family and friends.
It was then that I asked if it was a boy or girl. And our caseworker said, "It's a boy!". I told Matt. I could SO tell by the look on his face he was SO pumped. Here he was at a MLB game and he just found out God was giving him a son! My response to the news of having a son was really interesting and something I have spent the last few days thinking about a lot. Immediately, my heart literally cried out my son's name. Which was really strange because Matt and I have had a few boy names that we've liked but had only really had one girl name that was a definite for us all these years. But the way my heart yelled out his name was really beautiful for me as a mom. It was like my heart recognized my son and called out his name. It was truly beautiful and something I'll never forget. We're still praying about our son's full name and will definitely let everyone know soon. We really want to give him a name soon. He has been without a name for the first 7 months of his in utero life so far. He needs a name. And he needs prayer from here on out, by name. So we'll keep ya'll posted soon on that!
Our amazing friends Angela and Josh Dart were sitting right next to us and I could tell that Angela had an idea that something VERY big was happening in the two seats next to us by the way the tears were streaming down my face while on the phone. It was really amazing to have all of our friends there with us. After we got off the phone, Matt and I quickly hugged and kissed and discussed if we should tell everyone, how could we not?! So we stood up in the stands and Matt said, "We're having a boy!!" to all of our friends and all of our siblings. It was really, really awesome. Our community is SO important to us and our son will be SO richly blessed by these people so to get the news with all of them there, was insanely special for us. We wouldn't have wanted to get the news any other way. God outdid Himself with this. :)
I've thought about the day I would get "the call" from our caseworker for months. What would I be doing? Would Matt be with me? Well, God had a really, really cool way to give us the news. Over the fourth of July holiday, Matt and I and a bunch of our closest friends from VB and all of our siblings were in Pittsburgh for our good friends, Jamie and Tiffany's, wedding. Part of the wedding festivities that weekend was to go to a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game on the fourth of July. Matt was pumped beyond belief. He kept telling me that this was not just a baseball game but a Major League Baseball game. I had never been to an MLB game before. And Matt's favorite sport of all time is baseball. It's the closest to his heart because he played it all his life.
I'm sure Matt could beef up this part of the story better but I'll give it a try. It was the top of the sixth inning. The Pirates were making a comeback when I happened to look down at my phone that I was holding and saw it ringing. It was pretty loud in the stands to hearing it ring wouldn't have been possible. We were traveling with our sweet dog Bella and she was back at the hotel. The hotel always asks us to leave a phone number with them incase she barks too much. They would ask us to come pick her up. So getting a call in the middle of the game meant one thing in our minds, "oh Bella!"
But I noticed the area code (817) and knew that it could have been a Texas number. That's where our agency is located. But just weeks before, I was out to dinner with my good friend Tamice and thought our agency was calling because of the area code but it wasn't 817. It was 877. Boo. SO this time, I looked at it twice. IT WAS Texas!! But no need to get my hopes up prematurely, the agency calls sometimes with questions or to just check in. Yes, ALL of this ran through my head in the three seconds I stared at the number before answering.
So I answered and through the noise of the baseball game, I heard our caseworker say, "Kim, I have good news!!!". It was then that I thought to myself, "This is it. This is the call we had been longing for for months!" So I quickly tapped Matt on the leg, three times fast. He was busy watching the game. Ha! Matt immediately thought to himself, " Oh man, Bella! We're going to have to leave the game and pick her up from the hotel because she's barking, man!" He looked at me and said, "Bella?". I mouthed the words back, "It's Gladney!!" I started crying instantly and he knew this was NOT a call from our hotel about our dog. Haha! Our caseworker began giving us a run down of the information on the birth mother and baby. It was a lot of information, I was crying and it was pretty loud in the stands of a Major League Baseball game but I managed to remember a few key details to tell our family and friends.
It was then that I asked if it was a boy or girl. And our caseworker said, "It's a boy!". I told Matt. I could SO tell by the look on his face he was SO pumped. Here he was at a MLB game and he just found out God was giving him a son! My response to the news of having a son was really interesting and something I have spent the last few days thinking about a lot. Immediately, my heart literally cried out my son's name. Which was really strange because Matt and I have had a few boy names that we've liked but had only really had one girl name that was a definite for us all these years. But the way my heart yelled out his name was really beautiful for me as a mom. It was like my heart recognized my son and called out his name. It was truly beautiful and something I'll never forget. We're still praying about our son's full name and will definitely let everyone know soon. We really want to give him a name soon. He has been without a name for the first 7 months of his in utero life so far. He needs a name. And he needs prayer from here on out, by name. So we'll keep ya'll posted soon on that!
Our amazing friends Angela and Josh Dart were sitting right next to us and I could tell that Angela had an idea that something VERY big was happening in the two seats next to us by the way the tears were streaming down my face while on the phone. It was really amazing to have all of our friends there with us. After we got off the phone, Matt and I quickly hugged and kissed and discussed if we should tell everyone, how could we not?! So we stood up in the stands and Matt said, "We're having a boy!!" to all of our friends and all of our siblings. It was really, really awesome. Our community is SO important to us and our son will be SO richly blessed by these people so to get the news with all of them there, was insanely special for us. We wouldn't have wanted to get the news any other way. God outdid Himself with this. :)
These photos were taken, by Christi Hamrick, just seconds after telling our family the news! Thank you Christi for capturing these moments that will forever mean SO much to us and our son.
I'm sure this post brings about a lot of questions so I will write more on what's next for us in the process from here on out, soon. I just wanted to share the news! We're SO incredibly excited and blessed and honored that this beautiful birth mom would choose us! She needs your prayers these last couple of months because this decision is not easy at all. She does have the right to change her mind until 48 hours after the birth but she has been counseled really well and seems to be really firm in this decision. Even with the fear of her changing her mind, we can not help but embrace our son, fully, from here on out. Pray for us, for our son, for the birth mother and birth father. Thanks so so much for your support and love. Without our community, our adoption would not be possible. You all are a part of something very, very beautiful.
And from here on out, I will definitely always be a big fan of America's pastime, the beautiful game of baseball. Go Pirates!
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